A woman has sparked a debate after telling her husband that he should have done more to celebrate her birthday.
In a post on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole community, the woman explained that she was away on a business trip for her birthday but claimed her colleagues seemed more enthusiastic about her big day than her own husband.
The anonymous woman wrote: “Today is my birthday. I'm on a business trip, so I have to spend it with coworkers instead of family. My husband texted me at 1AM and told me happy birthday.
“I had a busy schedule today, but we talked on the phone twice and texted throughout the day. I kept thinking he would say something, but he never did.”
The woman explained that after his text at 1AM, her husband never mentioned that it was her birthday again at any point during the day. She also revealed her colleagues, who she had met in person for the first time two days prior, went to the effort of finding out her favourite cake and surprised her with it at dinner that night.
She continued: “I told my husband that I was hurt that he didn't mention anything about my birthday. He said that we barely talked today, and he had already told me happy birthday.
“During our second phone call of the day, he had time to update me on the Warriors game but I guess he didn't have time to tell me happy birthday. I've spent the last hour crying.”
The woman revealed she had been torn between believing that she was being entitled to expect more and wanting more than just a happy birthday text.
She concluded: “He thinks that, since he told me happy birthday, that shows that he cares. I feel like you should be able to expect more from your spouse than a birthday text.”
In the comments, other Redditors gave their opinion on her situation and left many divided.
One person wrote: “NTA [not the a**hole]... you talked twice... it sounds like all you wanted was for him to say it over the phone rather than a text... doesn't seem like you're asking for too much.”
Another commented: “NTA. I am surprised by all the answers here. I feel like you are just asking him to say it on the call. It's not that hard to say ‘Happy birthday, love. How is your birthday going?’ I don't get why people are acting like it's too much to ask for.
“My friends and I always text each other happy birthday wishes when we wake up or go to bed (we all live in different timezones). And then when we have a chance to speak, we also say happy birthday and find out all about birthday activities. I imagine a significant other would want to know and make you feel special on your birthday. Unless, you previously indicated that you don't care about birthdays. Then he is fine.”
But not everyone agreed, and some even told the woman she needed to “grow up”.
Someone argued: “Yta [you’re the a**hole]. He said happy birthday. You're still on your trip, so what exactly do you expect him to do while you're out of town?
“You're fussing at him before he has even had a chance to fail. This would make me not want to do something once you got home. And I usually go all out for birthdays.”
Another said: “YTA. Grow up. He sent you a happy birthday text and called you. That's quite a lot for a normal work day on both sides.
“If you want something special for your birthday, tell him beforehand. Do not assume, do not expect, and learn to communicate your needs instead of hoping for them to be met.”
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