The Conversation (0)
Elaine McCallig
Oct 23, 2022
IndyTV
A woman has vented about how her boyfriend branded her “sexist” when she didn’t invite him to a girls’ night in.
Posting on the Am I The A**hole subreddit, the woman sought outsider opinions on how she dealt with the matter.
She explained that she has been seeing “Will”, a 27-year-old, for several months now. She said he is “sweet”, and they typically meet up at the weekend.
When he asked what her plans were for Friday, she told him she would be having her friends over for a girls’ night in.
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He asked her if she was serious and started talking about how “outdated” and “so 1950s” these “events” are.
He also said she should “stop promoting and advocating for those events as they are so toxic and flatout reek of misogyny”.
She said: “I was shocked by his long rant but he said that was his honest opinion.”
He then tried to talk her out of it, but she stuck to her guns.
“He threw a fit after he suggested bringing his guy friends to join us and I refused since this is not how girls’ nights in work,” she wrote. “He called me a sexist and misogynistic for having a girls night in and making it so obvious instead of being ashamed of myself.”
He continued, telling her that her “mentality” will cause her issues in the future if she behaves like that “in a professional work setting”.
She wrote: “Let me tell you I was BLOWN AWAY by how he got so worked up like that over me just missing my girls and wanting to spend time with them. We argued some more and he hung up on me after I said I will not stop hosting or being part of girls’ nights in no matter what he says about it.”
Later, she tried calling and apologising for “lashing out” but he sent a text message saying he was “hurt” by how she handled the situation. He said he “needs time to process what he just found out about [her] personality.”
She added: “This hurt me but my friendship and the bond I share with my girlfriends is huge and I don’t want to risk years of friendships by no longer being part of our bonding activities.”
At the top of her post she said that she is writing from a throwaway account because he has the password to her main account.
The comments on the 2021 post were overwhelmingly supportive of her.
The top comment with over 34,000 upvotes said: “No offense but you’ve said that you’ve only been dating a couple of months and he throws a tantrum over you not picking him over spending time with your friends. That’s a red flag.”
She replied to the comment to say his main gripe was that he couldn’t attend or bring his guy friends.
“This man is manipulative,” another commenter wrote. “I feel girls’ nights in are healthy and important. It sounds like he wants to isolate you from your friends.”
Other comments pointed out the controlling nature of his actions, as well as the gaslighting and manipulation.
Another concise comment, with almost 6,000 upvotes, simply said: “Run”.
The NHS has a list of resourcesthat are available for victims of domestic violence, including emotional abuse. If you’re worried someone may find these web pages in your search history, see Women’s Aid’s guide to hiding your tracks online.