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As a ravaging 2016 draws to an end, Brits are finding warmth in Christmas cards from eager relatives and memories of better times.
Oh, and the good old English breakfast.
We did have full ownership of that, until America went and butchered it.
The English breakfast isn't available for exporting. It's all we have left.
Or, at least, it was until an American came along and posted her attempts in the Facebook group 'Fry Up Police'.
Because of course there’s a Facebook account called the 'Fry Up Police'. And of course it has almost 40,000 members.
Wherein you'll find hard and fast rules, such as:
A three piece does NOT constitute a fry up. Minimum 4 ingredients or BAN.
Samantha Roberts very bravely posted a photo to the group, titled:
An American’s first attempt at an English fry-up.
Instead of baked beans, Roberts has opted for kidney beans. The sausages do not look like sausages, and the tea is black. And the condiment is... blackberry jelly.
Deep breaths, everyone.
People, understandably, were not easy on her.
You'll have to excuse us, Roberts, we're having a bit of a national identity crisis right now.
We're sure you can empathise.
However, let this be a warning to all other Americans...
If you're going to give it a go, use baked beans.
More: The kooky new breakfast trend you may not have heard about