Here’s a tip: if you ever see a baby crying in public, it’s not a smart idea to have a go at the mother for it.
That’s what one Reddit user learned recently, after they took to the website’s “Am I the Asshole?” page to share their experience in a supermarket.
The answer from commenters? A resounding yes.
PlayerSlotAvailable explained the story in detail, which goes like this:
I went shopping in the grocery store, when a woman brought in a baby crying out loud from before she even stepped into the store. This kept going on and on for at least 5 minutes, at least until after I had left the store. All the other customers were visibly uncomfortable with it. Before I left the store, I passed by her and I told her that the next time she went to the store, she should not bring her baby. Leave it with the father, or keep in in the car. Am I the asshole for telling her that, or is she for bringing the baby in there.
Might add that both the father, and the mother gets 15 weeks of paid paternity leave + 16 weeks to the person they choose. And kindergarden isn't something that is unaffordable, as the price is adjusted for people with a low income. There are few reasons why she would have to bring the baby with her to a crowded store.
They definitely don’t teach “just leave the baby in the car” at parenting classes.
Unsurprisingly, PlayerSlotAvailable quickly learned just how unpopular their opinion was.
“You don’t know her circumstances. And she’s not gonna stop living because it inconveniences you,” ShreddedDaphy said. “There might not be a dad at home, she might be a recent widow. And leaving a baby in the car? Alone? Are you stupid?”
This made me SO angry.
Being a new parent is overwhelming and of course you are always mortified that you are bothering other people. And lack of sleep/stress is making you on the verge of tears as it is. If a stranger shamed me for my child crying in the grocery store, I would probably melt down in tears. What. an. utter. asshole.
We need to be kinder and more empathetic to each other. OP probably ruined her whole day.
The user’s claim that they were stepping in to help other customers was also ruthlessly mocked.
“Love how he says everyone in the store was visibly upset, so it was his duty to step forward. Yeah everyone in that store with kids has been in that spot themselves!” Ombudsman_of_Funk wrote.
User turandokht added:
Dude and it's not like she went into a movie theater where the expectation is quiet. It's a grocery store. A place I generally consider loud unless I'm in one very late at night. There are families discussing what to buy, employees talking to each other, etc.
The original poster did see the light eventually - but, let’s be honest, they shouldn’t have needed anyone to tell them this.
After criticism started coming in, they made a few edits to their post.
Edit: So apparently they can die in car from heat or cold exposure.
No one seems willing to elaborate on that.
I am sorry if I offended anyone with my post or my inquisitive questions.
Edit2: Thanks for the people who were kind and civil and explained to me the dangers of leaving a child alone in a car. I thought a properly heated/cooled car alone was enough to make it a safe environment for a child for a few minutes.
Edit3: For another social situation I was in a year ago. I would love to know if this situation gets a different judgement.
Edit4: 100% aware I was the asshole, I realize that now.
But some things I want to clarify.
First is that it isn't illegal to leave a child in a car in Norway. Although exposing a child to danger IS. Where the line is drawn is not clear.
Second is that Kindergarden here starts from the age of 1 in Norway. And parents have parental leave of one year. So just enough time to get them into kindergarden.
That doesn't make me right. I just wanted to clarify those two things as many seems to have been confused.
Again, thanks for the helpful comments.
When you’re at “Edit 4”, it's definitely time to call it quits.
Don’t expect any “parent of the year” awards for PlayerSlotAvailable anytime soon.