News

Research shows that cuckolding could be a positive thing

Picture:
Picture:
Getty Images/iStockphoto

Research by scientists has suggested that cuckolding could be a positive for some relationships.

In recent years the shortened version of the word, "cuck" has been adopted by the alt-right movement as a means of insulting a man who they feel has become emasculated and lost his sense of worth.

The actual origins of the story are sexual in nature and it has become a fetish for some men who like to fantasise about their partner engaging in sexual activity with another person.

Although strongly associated with heterosexual men it has also been found to be a fantasy for women and gay men too.

Research by David Ley, Justin Lehmiller, and Dan Savage has found that in some cases, the practice of cuckolding can be a positive for couples.

CNNreports that in a forthcoming book by Lehmiller, thousands of American's were surveyed and 58 per cent of men and a third of women admitted to having this fantasy.

Speaking to CNN, Lehmiller said:

Men are more likely to fantasize about cuckolding, and they do it more often -- but there are a number of women who have these fantasies as well, which points to the need for more research focused on women's cuckolding desires.

Further research by the trio, published by Archives of Sexual Behaviour has also found that the fantasy is also shared by some gay men.

A study of 580 gay men found that there were overlapping themes between gay and straight men when it came to cuckolding, these included voyeurism and group sex.

Lehmiller added:

For gay men, cuckolding isn't quite as taboo because the norm of lifelong monogamy isn't so strong in the LGBT community; however, it can still be arousing for a number of other reasons.

It's a sexual desire that can be easily customized to meet a wide range of sexual needs and desires, whether it's taboo sex, novelty, voyeurism or something else.

Although this might not initially present itself as the most healthy thing for a couple to be doing, the experts believe that their findings show that it often has a positive effect on couples.

However, they do not recommend it if a member of the relationship suffers from intimacy issues or anxiety.

CNN quotes Lehmiller as saying:

Overall, our research found that for the most part, cuckolding tends to be a positive fantasy and behaviour.

It doesn't appear to be evidence of disturbance, of an unhealthy relationship, or of disregard for one's partner.

We found several personality factors that predict more positive experiences acting on cuckolding fantasies.

For those who have a lot of relationship anxiety or abandonment issues, who lack intimacy and communication, and who aren't careful, detail-oriented planners, acting on a consensual non-monogamy fantasy could very well be a negative experience.

In other words, not everyone who has a cuckolding fantasy should think about acting on it.

Of course, this is just based on the study of a few thousand people and perhaps shouldn't be seen as an endorsement of the fantasy.

As a caveat, they do recommend that any couples who feel that they want to give it a go should talk about it first.

Dan Savage says:

The reality of watching your spouse have sex with someone else -- or knowing they're doing it if you're not there -- is often very different than the fantasy.

It can dredge up powerful emotions, so take baby steps and keep talking and communicating.

That said, the rewards can be amazing, according to couples who have successfully folded cuckold play into their relationships.

HT CNN

More: If your parents had affairs, you are more likely to cheat

The Conversation (0)
x