Donald Trump won another five primary elections on Tuesday. He used the opportunity to mock Hillary Clinton:
Frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I don’t think she’d get five per cent of the vote. The only thing she’s got going is the woman’s card.
Trump accused Clinton of playing "the woman’s card" as if being a woman is a good thing. When, let's face it, it ain't.
As Alexandra Petri over at the Washington Post explains, being the owner of a "Woman Card" entitles you to:
... a sizable discount on your earnings everywhere you go (average 21 per cent, but can be anywhere from nine per cent to 37 per cent, depending on what study you’re reading and what edition of the Woman Card you have.)
If you shop with the Woman Card at the grocery, you will get to pay 11 per cent more for all the same products as men, but now they are pink.
Its reward system may not make sense at first.
It works in countless ways, as people have been pointing out online.
With strangers you meet on the street:
It'll definitely get you that promotion, and you definitely won't be accused of sleeping with your boss to get it.
No one will ever say you support or help someone else because she's also a woman, and no one will ever tell you "there's a special place in hell" if you don't, either.
You'll never have to make those pesky reproductive health decisions again.
It'll help you when you have thoughts or ideas or need to express something to others.
It'll stop you from having to be taken seriously.
And protect you from sexual assault.
It'll block out gendered insults, especially online.
Careful how you play it, though.
It is a limited-time offer.
And it won't make your male partner split childcare and housework 50/50.
It won't stop what you wear being something you're judged on.
It won't represent you in art and film and music and sport.
It won't make your sexual conquests something to be proud of.
But if you're having any trouble, a man will come right along and help you out. We promise.
Remember: some things in life for women are free (they're also free for men). But for everything else like crippling social, sexual and economic penalties, there's the Woman Card.