A therapist tried to explain Trump. It's not pretty.

It's not unreasonable to suggest that Donald Trump is in possession of a larger-than-average ego, combined with a few narcissistic traits.

However, some cite his fixation on his inaugural crowd, his delusion over voter fraud and denial of losing the popular vote as proof of a more dangerous form of narcissism.

That's to say nothing of his ongoing grudges, his quick temper, his oversensitivity to satire or his 'celebrityTwitter feuds'.

Of course, nobody can diagnose the new U.S. President with any form of personality disorder without extensive psychiatric evaluation...

But according to therapist and licensed clinician Wendy Behary, a useful framework for describing and dissecting his behaviour could be Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

Common traits of NPD include:

• Exaggerated feelings of self-importance
• Fixation on power, success and appearance
• Lack of empathy
• Sense of superiority or entitlement to special treatment
• Excessive need for admiration and attention
• Believed to affect more males than females

Jesse Singal of the New York Magazine interviewed Wendy Behary, author of Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving With the Self-Absorbed, after Trump won the election and has since reached out to her for comments on Trump's bizarre first week in the Oval Office.

Behary, who also founded and directs the Cognitive Therapy Centre in New Jersey, had the following comments to make on Trump's recent behaviour.

Fact vs. fiction

Behary claims that Trump's fixation on the size of his inauguration crowd is unsurprising.

"He has to believe it. He consciously overrides the 'truth' because the 'truth' would be fraught with shame - the narcissist's kryptonite. Clinical experts call this an overcompensation or a (necessary) distortion to maintain his (narcissistic extraordinariness)."

In plain-speak it's fiction - revisions of reality to keep the narcissist fully supplied with supreme specialness.

However, Behary believes that deep down, Trump does understand the facts: that his crowd was smaller than average, and that he received approximately three million fewer votes than Hillary Clinton:

We know he must be aware of the truth at some deeper, albeit disallowed, level of consciousness.

'Disallowed' in this case refers to knowing something on some level but not allowing it inside your consciousness.

But Behary suggests that narcissists "have so little capacity to adjust the volume of their inner demanding critics and their unrelenting expectations for their greatness", that they simply cannot cope with this information.

For a narcissist this [behaviour of ignoring or pushing back against obvious truths] is explained by the intensity of the reaction and the hiccoughing focus on an issue related to their rank, status, and approval ratings — i.e., he surely ‘doth protest too much.

Shame / embarrassment

Behary also focussed on the extensive and damaging leaks coming out of the White House about Trump's behaviour, which is incredibly unusual in the early days of a presidency.

Because image, status, and righteousness are the most important part of their identity and worth, the person with NPD is crushed by any adverse information related to their performance, appearance, correctness, or social standing.

While most humans would be bothered by negative reviews, the narcissist experiences this as an assassination of their identity.

Empathy

In Behary's original interview, she suggested that an effective way to deal with Trump would be to learn "the art of empathic confrontation".

That is to say, one must stoop to the level of a narcissist and make it clear that they are harming their own interests.

This is a way of understanding (empathy) their makeup and their frustrations, impulses, and their sense of entitlement while also holding them accountable (confrontation) for damaging and destructive actions … Helping them to appreciate and predict the consequences of their negative behaviours.

She explained that rather than make moral or rational cases for policy, it would be more effective to appeal to Trump's desire to be loved, i.e. "do this or your reputation will suffer" rather than "do this because it's the best thing to do".

Boredom

Reports have suggested that the Vice President will take on the brunt of domestic and foreign policy, because, as Behary suggests, Trump cannot handle the day-to-day drudgery of meetings and diplomatic visits.

I think he’ll recede into the background and delegate as long as the people who are doing his job are doing it well enough so he can take the credit.

Behary explained that her main fear of a narcissistic presidency is the lack of ability to deal with boredom.

I still wonder what he’s going to do with the ants in his pants about needing a new shiny toy, because this type of person can’t stay still and follow monotonized routines, and so I can’t imagine — what’s he going to do without his celebrity-ship?

Will he have to create chaos and create situations and conditions so that he has to step forward? I don’t know. I just can’t imagine him staying still for that long.

Attention

Behary worries that a preoccupation with the day-to-day demands of the presidency would deprive a narcissist of what they really crave: attention.

I’m more concerned that when narcissists step away from the  adulation, the spotlight, the praise, the applause, they get bored. And then they have to find other ways to cook up a stimulating event or something that becomes interesting, stimulating, controversial, competitive, self-soothing.

That’s what’s of greater concern — how’s he going to deal with the routine of day-to-day life, which becomes very demanding and not necessarily so stimulating every day of the week, and not necessarily filled with crowd applause?

Disobedience

Behary also suggests that a typically narcissistic trait, i.e. inability to follow orders, could have serious security implications in a presidency.

I’ve often wondered how is he going to stay inside his Secret Service detail? 

Narcissistic people don’t take orders, they don’t follow orders — they may do it if it’s serving them and it’s convenient for them, but not when it feels uncomfortable. They’re not good with frustration. They don’t believe they should be able to follow the same rules as everyone else.

There’s a lot of wonder and worry on my part and my colleagues who specialise in this area on how will he follow the detail of the Secret Service and stay within the boundaries?

Reputation

Behary concluded that Trump's behaviour will depend on how beloved he feels: "If his favour goes up, it's all good".

However, a Trump presidency goes hand in hand with intense scrutiny, polarised opinion and high levels of public resistance.

It's also logical to assume that his public approval rating will sharply peak and fall, much like any other presidency.

So it remains to be seen how Trump will be able to cope with his new form of "ratings".

But considering his fixation with the media's critical reporting of 'fake news' and his reactionary outbursts on Twitter to criticism, it's safe to assume that he won't find it easy.

H/T: Jesse Singal, New York Magazine

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