Everything you thought you knew about Kelis is a goddamned lie

Wanna feel old? 'Milkshake' came out thirteen years ago. Wanna feel cheated? Turns out Kelis has never actually made a milkshake.

Despite the fact the provocative, powerful song basically forms the bedrock of millennial sexuality, it's been revealed Kelis has been sitting on a throne of goddamned lies this entire time.

Speaking to the Guardian on Monday about her upcoming festival slots in the UK, the Le Cordon Bleu trained sous-chef and singer admitted that milkshakes aren't actually a part of her repertoire:

What would go in a Kelis milkshake? Apart from milk, obviously...

I don’t think I’ve ever made a milkshake. I made a smoothie the other day that was really good – protein powder, spinach, orange, and crushed ice with a little bit of honey and coconut water. I’ll make you a Kelis smoothie next time you come over.

We just don't know what to believe anymore.

More: This guy's story about trying to buy a McDonald's milkshake turned into a bit of a mission and the internet can't get enough of it