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Meeting new people can be nerve wracking, even for the most confident of speakers.

Full disclosure, this is not a list of ideas of how to 'trick' someone into liking you.

We're not in that business. Here instead are tips to make yourself be more emotionally intelligent, and therefore more likeable.

While indy100 cannot guarantee these techniques will always work, here are five tips for getting the conversation flowing with a new person.

1. Ask open-ended questions

Ask at least two of these. Questions with yes or no answers will get you just that, a short answer.

This isn't a problem for you, it's a problem for who you are speaking with, because it puts the onus on them to try to think of something more interesting to say than a simple 'yes' or 'no'.

The conversation will flow better too, because an open ended question will give you room for a follow up question, that you won't get from an affirmative or a denial.

Example questions suggested by 'Fast company' include:

  • How did you get into that?
  • What do you like most about it?

2. Step back

Although you want to lead the conversation down avenues bountiful, you then need to be reserved and quiet to demonstrate you are actually listening.

There is no point opening with a great leading question, if you use their answer to began an anecdote about yourself.

3. Find something you have in common

Obviously this can't be artificially generated, and you should not lie about it.

What this demonstrates is that you are listening, and again it reassures the person you are speaking to that they are not under pressure to find something to speak about.

By showing you have a shared interest, you can set the other person at ease.

Who doesn't like someone that is easy to speak to?

4. Repeat their name

As well as showing you actually listened, it will help you remember it if you meet them again.

Similarly, when you're leaving them, commit a few facts from the conversation to memory.

This will also help if you meet them again in the future.

5. Offer a compliment

Generally seemingly like you are pleased to speak to somebody is a good way to ingratiate yourself with them.

The compliment also shows you are observant and paying attention to something about them.

If you worry this might seem like you are trying to flirt, do not lead with the compliment.

Wait until you have learned a few things about them before offering the compliment about one of those things.

While some people are shy when it comes to flattery, the act itself will show off your emotional intelligence.

HT Fast Company,Independent

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