Reddit user shoots his shot with Bill Gates via Reddit
Reddit user shoots his shot with Bill Gates via Reddit
Mike Cohen/Getty Images for The New York Times

One of America’s richest philanthropists is back on the market. After 27 years of marriage, Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates and his wife Melinda are splitting up. Bill and Melinda have been key players within the philanthropy sector, founding The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, and redefining public health and philanthropy in the process.

The news of their divorce broke Monday, and while some individuals were saddened, others appeared ecstatic. In fact, it seems many have already began plotting to win over the billionaire’s heart, long before divorce papers have been signed. When a user posted a question on Reddit, asking individuals what their plans were to seduce Gates, the proposals immediately begin filtering in.

One plot was so meticulous, it could likely be the plot to the next Mission Impossible film. Tom Cruise, take notice.

But honestly, the amount of additional time people have on their hands is astonishing.

Posted by u/LordCitrus, the plot outlines details to “captivate” Gates, including plans to write multiple NYT bestselling books aligning with Gates’ interests, and scheduling “book signings suspiciously overlapping with Bill’s travel itinerary.”

Read mores:

“I’ll frequent his haunts, and flash a smile at him every time. Soon we’re talking daily like old friends. About our projects, about our vision for the world, about our loneliness and desires. Something resonates with him, and I feel his heart beat faster whenever we’re together,” he writes.

We can hear Gates’ security swiftly ramping up.

The writer also writes about his plans to conceive a child with Gates, which include “genetic techniques” to produce an “embryo with a perfect mix of our DNA.”

“A short 3 years later, one of the experimental genetic techniques yields an embryo with a perfect mix of our DNA. It’s a boy. The gays are jealous and demand access but it’s a good 10 years before FDA approval for the public,” he writes.

We have to admit, it’s not entirely a bad scheme. Outlandish perhaps, but definitely interesting. Many users shared our sentiments, pledging their allegiance to the user and praising his mastermind mentality.

“I have a feeling that you’ll be the one to succeed. If not, please take me into consideration instead, kay? I’m already in love with your eloquence,” wrote u/CandenzaMoon.

“The very least Bill could do is sponsoring your writing career after this masterpiece,” wrote u/nrcssa

We’re rooting for the these two and will be monitoring the mail for our wedding invites.

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