
Boris Johnson announced that single adults can form a "support bubble" with another household, so obviously everyone thinks he's talking about sex.
Announcing further changes to lockdown, Johnson said:
All those in a support bubble will be able to act as if they live in the same household, meaning they can spend time together inside each others' homes and do not need to stay two metres apart.
People are interpreting this as the official go-ahead to finally have that long-awaited Tinder date.
Can we cut the euphemism and just say "sex bubbles"?— Kate Bevan (@Kate Bevan) 1591814432
I’ve chosen to bubble up with this person because... #supportbubble https://t.co/n9harOe8IM— Lucy Salmon (@Lucy Salmon) 1591807207
But it's not quite as simple as that.
Firstly, the rules only apply in England, to those either living alone or with children if they're under 18. So neither you nor your date can be living with friends, flatmates or family if you want to form a "bubble" together.
Secondly, you can only form one bubble and you cannot change who your bubble is with. This is good news for people who live alone and haven't seen their significant other in months, but not such great news for everyone else.
clarification: single people you can have sex now if you live alone and only if you visit one other household exclu… https://t.co/XxruUfdenX— Scott Bryan (@Scott Bryan) 1591806212
So the sex ban is basically...over, at least for single people who *extremely stern voice* agree to form a ‘support… https://t.co/nCd1WO5Ds4— gabyhinsliff (@gabyhinsliff) 1591806028
Imagine the pressure of being told you’ve been chosen to be in someone’s support bubble as a sex buddy. Talk about performance anxiety.— Olivia Petter (@Olivia Petter) 1591807241
This isn't the first time the government has basically told us to settle down with someone.
Before lockdown was implemented, deputy chief medical officer Jenny Harries told couples to move in together or not see each other at all.
So perhaps, test really carefully your strength of feeling, stay with the household, either together or apart, but keep it that way while we go forward.
The new rule does technically make it possible to have sex with someone from outside your household again, after a brief stint of that being illegal. But the number of people who will realistically benefit from a "support bubble" is probably low.
How many of us live alone and only want to see one other person, who also happens to live alone?
It's not like you can even go for dinner before firmly committing to the person you're forming a bubble with...