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This perfect metaphor for consent shows why it's really not that complicated

This perfect metaphor for consent shows why it's really not that complicated

Here's a secret: consent isn't very complicated.

When the government begin teaching 11-year-old schoolchildren about it under new plans, they may want to borrow this analogy from blogger rockstardinosaurpirateprincess, whose post on the matter has gone viral.

She pointed out that there are very few, ahem, blurred lines about whether or not a person wants to have sex with you. Still don't get it? Just imagine you are making them tea. Here's her explanation in full:

You say “hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they go “omg f--k yes, I would f--king LOVE a cup of tea! Thank you!*” then you know they want a cup of tea.

If you say “hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they um and ahh and say, “I’m not really sure…” then you can make them a cup of tea or not, but be aware that they might not drink it, and if they don’t drink it then – this is the important bit – don’t make them drink it. You can’t blame them for you going to the effort of making the tea on the off-chance they wanted it; you just have to deal with them not drinking it. Just because you made it doesn’t mean you are entitled to watch them drink it.

If they say “No thank you” then don’t make them tea. At all. Don’t make them tea, don’t make them drink tea, don’t get annoyed at them for not wanting tea. They just don’t want tea, ok?

They might say “Yes please, that’s kind of you” and then when the tea arrives they actually don’t want the tea at all. Sure, that’s kind of annoying as you’ve gone to the effort of making the tea, but they remain under no obligation to drink the tea. They did want tea, now they don’t. Sometimes people change their mind in the time it takes to boil that kettle, brew the tea and add the milk. And it’s ok for people to change their mind, and you are still not entitled to watch them drink it even though you went to the trouble of making it.

Finally, if they are unconscious don't make them any tea.

Unconscious people don’t want tea and can’t answer the question “do you want tea” because they are unconscious.

Got it? Good.

More: Someone created a Harry Potter themed sex education lesson

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