With less than a week to go until one of the most important presidential elections in US history, Donald Trump has delivered one of his weirdest campaign rallies to date.
Speaking to supporters in Bullhead City, Arizona and Goodyear Arizona, where there was little to no evidence of face masks and social distancing measures being in place at both events, Trump spoke for just over two hours combined and it was as rambling and unfocused as ever.
The president covered the usual subjects such as Joe Biden and the coronavirus but he also found times to complain about the weather, joke about sending Nancy Pelosi to Mars, UFC and even have Nigel Farage, yes, Nigel Farage, make a cameo on stage.
Trump kicked things off in Bullhead City by claiming that they already have a vaccine for coronavirus and threw in a casual bit of racism for good measure.
Trump moved on to mocking Joe Biden, claiming that his opponent should have never been the Democrats candidate, before mocking his health and claiming the whole thing is a 'con job.'
The president spends the best part of a minute complaining about the wind in Arizona and how it messes up his hair before eventually deciding to put on a MAGA hat.
Trump claims that he spoke to an unnamed world leader who told him that they hope Biden doesn't win, with Trump adding that a Biden victory would lead to a depression equal to that seen in 1929.
Trump begins rambling about polling numbers among Hispanic voters before going off on a wild tangent about television detectives.
I felt like Perry Mason, because he admitted right in the end, his last name. I said, 'Does that mean you don’t like oil, Joe?'Ah, ah, well, ah, ah.'
No, it’s Perry Mason. Do you ever watch? Colombo? How about Colombo? It’s the same thing.
A mere mention of Hillary Clinton's name ignites a 'lock her up' chant from the crowd with the president laughs and continues to deride her like it was 2016 all over again.
Much of this rally was hit with technical faults but rather than carrying on regardless, Trump brags about not paying the people who helped set up these events whenever something goes wrong.
Trump gets distracted by an overhead air display which sends the crowd into a delirium. He then criticises the 'fake news media' for not filming it, even though they did.
Trump claims, with no evidence that Biden wants to ban weddings, graduations and Thanksgiving with his lockdown before mocking Californians, claiming that they were as mask that you can't even take off.
Still talking about masks, Trump mocks people for getting food on their masks and likens them to getting into a fight with UFC president Dana White.
Trump continues to talk about UFC and ponder how well 77-year-old Joe Biden would fare in a fight.
The president tells everyone in the crowd that they are immune to Covid-19 and again jokes about jumping into the crowd and kissing everyone, a line which he has repeated before.
Trump complains that the Democrats want free health care and a lawyer for everyone like it's a bad thing.
Trump displays a unique understanding of the relationships between Kosovo and Serbia and claims that representatives of the two nations were 'hugging and kissing each other' after they struck a deal in the White House.
Trump claims that most people don't know that famous Republican president Abraham Lincoln was a Republican.
While talking about his aspirations to land a woman on the Moon and be the first nation to land on Mars, which are genuinely impressive goals, Trump can't help but make a gag and suggests sending Nancy Pelosi to the red planet.
Towards the end of his speech in Bullhead, Trump struggles to remember the name of the place where he is and blames it on the teleprompters moving in the wind.
Trump rounds off the speech by taking about the wild west and complaining that he will look like a 'lobster tomorrow' because of the sun.
Arizona is where Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday, how about that, became American legends. It’s where the great American West became the American dream, and Arizona is the state where generations of pioneers and prospectors, miners, ranchers, cowboys, and cattle hands, marshals and lawmen tamed the frontier, braved the blazing sun that I’m braving today. I’m just as brave as they are. I’m setting up here. I’ll be like a lobster tomorrow, And showed the entire world how the West was won.
The president then moved on to speak in Goodyear, Arizona which is around 200 miles south of Bullhead to give another speech, which was thankfully a lot shorter.
Trump kicked things off by giving another nickname to Covid-19, this time calling it the 'China Plague.'
We will deliver record prosperity, epic job growth, and a safe vaccine that eradicates the virus, the China Plague is what it is, and quickly end the pandemic. Normal life, which is what we want, we just want normal life, like we had seven months ago. We’ll fully resume, and next year we will be the greatest economic power.
Trump is now complaining that it is too hot but takes time to make a dig at Biden claiming the Democrat needs teleprompters despite the president clearly struggling with the devices at his previous rally.
Trump says another dog whistle to Hispanic voters by claiming that Biden will destory everything they have worked for and attack Catholic organisations with a lockdown and tax hikes.
Joe Biden would obliterate everything Hispanic Americans have worked for, wiping out your small businesses with lock downs and regulations, gutting your police departments, and devastating your families with massive tax hikes.
He will attack Catholic organizations. By the way, Hispanics, generally speaking, don’t like that too much. And ban charter schools fund, extreme late term abortion, and surrender your country to the violent socialist mob.
Trump goes on to talk about Miles Taylor a former Trump official who has been revealed as the person who wrote a 2018 New York Times op-ed about dissension in the White House towards the president. Trump claims that Taylor should be 'prosecuted' for what he wrote and admits that he was worried that it could have been written by anyone from Jared Kushner to Hope Hicks.
Trump goes back to mocking Biden and claims that his opponent doesn't know what the word xenophobic means.
And now he’s always telling me I should have acted quicker except when I closed our country to China, because it was so heavily affected and Europe, he was totally against it. He said I’m xenophobic. I said, “Do me a favor? Give me a definition, Joe.” He couldn’t do that because he had no idea what it meant.
Trump then begins to invite a random selection of people on stage, firstly with Arizona senator Martha McSally, who he beckons on stage in a rather disrespectful way.
She was followed by Kentucky senator Rand Paul and Utah senator Mike Lee, who treated his appearance on stage as if he was a preacher.
Next is Kevin McCarthy, the minority leader in the House of Representatives, who says he won't 'bang' Nancy Pelosi with her gavel.
Of all people, Nigel Farage makes an appearance on stage, who Trump calls 'one of the most powerful men in Europe.' The Brexiteer then proceeded to waffle for two minutes about how great he thinks the president is.
After that, Trump went back to his old campaign spiel and, for what must be the hundredth time, Trump claims that 'you can't see' stealth jets.
We will maintain America’s unrivaled military might, and we will ensure peace through strength. That’s what we have. And the 2.5 trillion, all made in the USA, we have the finest missiles and rockets and tanks and submarines and jets, the F-35 stealth. You can’t see it. 'Sir, you can’t see it. That makes it good.' I said, 'I think that makes it good. What do I know?' But I know if you’re the opponent and you can’t see the jet, you know what? You got a little advantage there.
Trump ends his second speech of the day by struggling to say the name of Tucson.
Mercifully that was the end of Trump's campaign speeches on Wednesday but his schedule shows that he has plenty more rallies lined up between no and election day so we can only imagine what he will say and do between now and then.