Boris Johnson Partygate: When will Sue Gray's report be released?
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Sue Gray is becoming quite the famous figure.

The senior civil servant has been given the unenviable task of delving into all the allegations that Downing Street hosted a number of Covid rule-breaking parties in the last two years, and now apparently - given how the Conservative Party refer to her - has been awarded the less official role of arbiter of all moral, ethical and legal issues now and forever.

We are of course referring to the almost trope-like way that Tories deploy her name to ward off scrutiny about the 'parties', telling politicians and journalists that they must wait for the result of Gray's inquiry before taking a view about the supposed events.

Now, the Met Police have said they will investigate "a number of events" in Downing Street and numerous lobby journalists have said they believe the report is complete and could even be published today, though Johnson is yet to receive it.

With Gray's name dominating the last two sessions of PMQs,we are sure Boris Johnson will take the opportunity to name-check her once again before she delivers her verdict.

So, get your alcoholic or non-alcoholic drinks at the ready, put the telly on, and get ready to have a hefty swig whenever Johnson says one of the quotes below, or something similar but always remember to please drink responsibly.

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"Sue Gray"

In politics, people are usually mentioned in a rather formal manner. In the commons, fellow MPs are referred to as the right honourable lady or gentleman, and outside players are usually also mentioned by title or surname. But not Sue Gray.

Sue Gray is never Sue, or Gray, or Ms Gray, or 'Second Permanent Secretary to Cabinet Office'. She is always Sue Gray, said quickly in one breath and we would bet a substantial amount of money on her being referenced almost constantly in the Commons today.

"We must wait for the outcome of the inquiry"

Kicking the can down the road in this manner has always been a bit of a risky tactic as it means when the can eventually reach the end of the road, it will definitely have to be addressed, and it will have picked up significance along the way, but this has been the government line over the last few weeks so it is likely it or something close to it will be uttered today.

If it is, have a drink.

"I urge patience"

Another classic from the government is to make opposition MPs and journalists look like eager toddlers who can't wait for Christmas Day and to tell them to chill out when they mention the parties.

If Johnson urges patience, we urge you to drink (responsibly).

"We cannot assume the results of the report"

And when opposition politicians or journalists dare act like alleged parties definitely happened, how could the government possibly comment? After all, they are assuming Gray will find wrongdoing and really how could she...?

Three shots for this audacious response.

Sue Gray is very "respected"

See also: "A woman of integrity", "formidable". Is the government sponsored by Sue Gray?

"We must wait and see what the Met Police have to say"

Given the latest police news, it is possible that Johnson will switch up his game and urge people to wait for the Met or commissioner Cressida Dick, rather than Gray, meaning she could fast lose her main character status and drift into the Westminster ensemble.

That being the case, we'll have to make a whole new drinking game.

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