It’s easy to see that the usual, clean-cut presentation and spiel that accompanies an Apple smartphone launch has entered the realms of cliché.

The friendly voice, the white background, the demonstrating of actions "like this" - it's all a bit 3G.

But luckily, as Apple would say, there’s a satire for that.

Presenting the NoPhone:

It does absolutely nothing - but not as you know it.

According to the product description, for your $10, you get:

  • One NoPhone
  • More of your attention
  • Real friends

And what you don't get:

  • Texting your ex-boyfriend
  • Location tracking
  • Browsing history
  • Data overages
  • Dead batteries
  • Instruction manual
  • Box
  • Phone

As one customer review noted:

Not since the pet rock has there been a product that costs so much and does so little. I hate the inventors of this but goddammit do I respect them. 5/5 stars

Starting to get the idea? The purpose of the gadget, if anything, is to help people realise how little these endless upgrades actually do for us socially, and make people ditch their smartphones from time to time.

For instance, take a look at their selfie edition:

There's also a NoPhone Zero, essentially a slab of plastic, devoid of inscriptions or even branding.

And don't overlook their family plan.

It's worth a visit the NoPhone store, if only to read the warranty or brilliant user reviews.

Or, alternatively you can set up your own franchise.

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