Mark Kermode savages Winnie the Pooh horror film: ‘AI wouldn't write a script this poor’

How Public Domain Made Way For A 'Winnie The Pooh' Horror Movie

Mark Kermode has launched into his latest rant – and this time, it’s Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey which is on the receiving end.

Kermode is one of the most respected film critics in the UK and he’s famed for his bad reviews of awful films, ripping into the likes of Entourage,The Da Vinci Code and The Keith Lemon Movie over the years.

Now, he’s given his take on the new horror and it’s safe to say he’s not a fan.

The film is a twisted take on the much-loved children’s tale, except instead of lovable characters and whimsical tone of AA Milne's literary creation, the new film instead reimagines Winnie the Pooh and his pal Piglet as bloodthirsty cannibals.

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It follows Christopher Robin, who finds a group of mysterious creatures in the woods, before abandoning Winnie the bear to start his new life at university. As a result, Pooh and Piglet become increasingly feral, leading them to eat their old friend Eeyore as a means to survive.

After returning home, Christopher and his partner find the pair on a blood-quenched rampage at a rural cabin where a group of college girls are staying.

Mark Kermode reviews Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey - Kermode and Mayo’s

“This was made on 10 days and a budget of [£100,000],” Kermode began during his review on his show Kermode and Mayo's Take with Simon Mayo, before saying: “It’s basically a sub, sub, sub, sub, sub Texas Chainsaw Massacre slog.”

He then went on to lay out his problems with the movie, saying: “The victims… one of them spends a lot of time in a hot tub, one of them has her shirt removed for no reason at all just before she gets killed. The only laughs in it are due to how bad it is.”

“All the gore effects are quite poorly done, quite basically done,” he added, before saying: “It’s not funny, except the bits that are funny because they’re so bad. AI wouldn’t write a script this poor.

“It’s a shame, but it’s rubbish… It’s like Sharknado: it’s a title and nothing else,” Kermode went on to say.

“It is literally a big bloke dressed like Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre but with a Winnie the Pooh mask on… There’s no logic to it that ties it back to the story.”

Yeah, maybe we’ll give it a miss after this...

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