We read Double Dick Dude's memoir so you don't have to (NSFW)

Double Header: My Life With Two Penises is an... 'unforgettable' memoir by the man who rose to internet fame in January 2014 after participating in a Reddit AMA about his genitals.

The author is fiercely protective of his identity but goes by the nom de plume DoubleDickDude (DDD).

DDD was born in 1989 with a rare medical condition called diphallia which can cause serious health problems, but in his case caused him to have two working penises. This afternoon we sat down to read his memoir, all 76 pages of it, and this is what we learned.

Warning: The below is NSFW.

How to pronounce diphilia

Die-fal-ee-ah.

What happened when he was born

The doctor announced “it’s a boy”, to which a midwife added “boy oh BOY is it a boy!”

When he was younger he wanted one of his penises removed

After being bullied at school for being gay, and after rumours of his condition circulated he told his father he wanted one of his penises amputated. “I know why you want this. I really do,” he said. “But even if you do, you’ll still be the guy they make fun of. You’ll still be the gay guy who might or might not have had two dicks.”

He lost his virginity with his right penis

“Up until the summer of 2014 it was always the one I favoured the most.” So now you know.

What happens when he pees and when he comes

In both cases the bodily fluids comes out of both penises. He is also lucky enough to be able to have multiple orgasms.

He is bisexual

Men are apparently more into having sex with someone with two penises than women.

Size

Around 7 and 6 inches respectively. And by the way he has a huge prostate ("the size of a large lemon or medium orange.") While we are on the subject of anatomy, he has two testicles.

Having two penises probably makes you twice as obsessed with sex

Just reading about the amount of sex he has is exhausting. Plus with his huge prostate he has to ejaculate as much as possible. One minute he has a sugar mummy, then he’s being fisted, then he’s having sex in a gym, then while dressed as Tarzan, then with six people at the same time and so on... This is not a book for prudes.

But he would never do porn

“There is no price tag on my dignity.”

While the book is ostensibly about his penis, you will also find out a lot about his anus

“I can take two fists up to around the elbow. I’ve had 3 to 4 hands in my ass just around the wrist.”

What a time to be alive.

More: The man with two penises has now written a tell-all memoir