The 40 best Succession quotes and insults ever

The 40 best Succession quotes and insults ever
Succession season 4 finale preview

Since 2019 the world of television has been obsessed with one family whose in-fighting and postering put the Kardashians to shame.

The Roy family, the central focus of the drama series Succession has become one of, if not the most dysfunctional family in television history as they all attempt to heir to their father's media mogul legacy.

Logan, Kendall, Roman, Shiv, Connor, Tom, Greg, Gerri, Matsson and everyone in between have given television lovers hours of nail-biting tension combined with the type of jet-black humour that could only come from a show that is parodying the likes of Fox News and Rupert Murdoch.

Although Succession is a show about high-end business deals full of financial and technical jargon that often requires a handbook to translate, creator Jesse Armstrong has managed to make what sounds like a niche premise one of the funniest dramas on television in the past 10 years.

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Beneath their rich and privileged lifestyles, the characters of Succession are scathing, back-stabbing snakes who will gladly say the most repugnant things to their loved ones.

It's a peculiarity of the show which has made it so unique and beloved by viewers and now with the last ever episode on the horizon and the stakes hanging in the balance now is as good a time as any to look back at some of the best, funniest and downright despicable quotes from the past four seasons.

1. Tom: “Greg, this is not f**king Charles Dickens World, okay? You don’t go around talking about principles. Man the f**k up!”

2. Gil: “You can’t make a Tomelette without breaking some Gregs.”

3. Matsson: [speaking to Greg] “I thought you were the backwash at the bottom of the gene pool, but this is something else.”

4. Kendall: [speaking to Greg] “You little Machiavellian f**k.”

5. Roman: "My mom’s getting remarried to a bowl of porridge.”

6. Gerri: [speaking to Roman] "You’re pathetic. You are a revolting little worm, aren’t you? You little slime puppy.”

7. Willa: "Hey, listen. At least I’m only getting f**ked by one member of this family, yeah?”

8. Greg: [speaking to Tom] “What am I gonna do with a soul anyways?”

9. Connor: "The good thing about having a family that doesn’t love you is you learn to live without it."

10. Logan: "Well, we do publish a number of popular newspapers, so yes, son. We probably invented the f**king words."


11. Roman: “Frank! It hasn’t been the same without you. It’s been better.”

12. Shiv: [speaking to Roman] "You love showing your pee-pee to everyone, but someday, you know, you’re actually gonna have to fuck something.”

13. Logan: [speaking to Kendall] "You're not a killer."

14. Kendall: "Who said I didn't kill anyone?"

15. Logan: [speaking about Tom] "He ate my f**king chicken. What’s next? Stick his c**k in my potato salad?"

16. Greg: "It’s like Jaws. If everyone in Jaws worked for Jaws.”

17. Tom: [speaking about Greg's date] “She’s brought a ludicrously capacious bag. What’s even in there? Flat shoes for the subway? Her lunch pail?”

18. Roman: "What the fuck is this obsession with milk? You know who drinks milk? Kittens and perverts.”

19. Tom: [speaking to Greg] "I'd castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat."

20. Logan: [speaking to his children] "I love you but you are not serious people."

21. Greg: "I was wondering, just, in your view do you think it’s possible to sue a person, a grandparent for example, in a way which is like… like in an affectionate way?"


22. Marcia: "I have fought and I have lost. And I have fought and won. But when I lose, the other one will generally lose an eye or a soul."

23. Roman: "Just wanted to let you know, new dad just dropped."

24. Tom: "You don’t hear much about syphilis these days. Very much the MySpace of STDs.”

25. Logan: "Romulus, when you laugh, please do it at the same volume as everyone else. We didn’t get you from a hyena farm."

26. Greg: [speaking to Logan] "Negotiate a bit of a Grexit."

27. Roman: “What I think he meant to say was that he wished that Mom gave birth to a can opener, because at least then it would be useful.”

28. Hugo: [Speaking to Shiv] “What’s it like being married to a man with two a**holes?”

29. Logan: "He’s selling me things I want at a fair price. So what’s next? Fellatio?”

30. Tom: "Sure. Although he did once call me the c*nt of Monte Cristo."

31. Shiv: "She’s one of the hard b**ches, right? She’s going to do 36 hours of maternity leave, emailing through her vanity caesarean.”


32. Greg: “If it is to be said, so it be, so it is.”

33. Ewan: “The ‘Logan Roy School of Journalism’? What’s next, the ‘Jack The Ripper Women’s Health Clinic’?”

34. Kendall: [singing] "L to the OG/ Dude be the OG/ A-N he playing/ Playing like a pro"

35. Gerri: "They’re young and they’re fit, but they’re European. They’re soft; hammocked in their social security safety net, sick on vacation mania and free healthcare. They may think they’re Vikings but we’ve been raised by wolves, exposed to a pathogen that goes by the name of Logan Roy, and they have no idea what’s coming to them.”

36. Connor: "It’s kind of a greeting card from hell. It’s a Times New Roman firing squad."

37. Roman: "I heard it looked like a cry for help. 'The Dance of the Sugar Plum Failure'."

38. Tom: "I don't mean to be insulting, but having been around a bit, my hunch is that you are going to get f**ked because I've seen you get f**ked a lot. And I've never seen Logan get f**ked once."

39. Greg: "I'm more than a sprinkle."

40. Logan: "F**k off"

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