The internet is going nuts (NUTS) over the news that a thuggish squirrel reportedly broke into a members' club in Worcestershire, got drunk, and proceeded to cause £300 worth of criminal damage.
Sam Boulter, the secretary of Honeybourne Railway Club, said he originally thought there had been a burglary at the premises when he arrived on Sunday evening to open up the bar to find the place "absolutely ransacked" and the floor covered in broken bottles and beer.
He realised that a squirrel was to blame for the damage when one staggered out from under the bar. Mr Boulter proceeded to chase the squirrel out of a ground floor window in the men's toilets.
Predictably, the internet can't even over the prospect of a drunk squirrel on a Bullingdon-esque bender.
Mr Boulter told i100.co.uk that he and the first customers to arrive on Sunday night were so shocked by the carnage before them that they forgot to take any photographs before cleaning up. The squirrel's rock 'n' roll evening wasn't captured by CCTV, either, because it was too dark.
Sadly, this is not the first time the Honeybourne Railway Club has been targeted by squirrel criminals.
Mr Boulter said that squirrels invaded the club's ceiling on another occasion and chewed through the electrics.
"The little bugger better not come back again," he genuinely told us.
HT BBC News and also for the excellent photo caption