A lifestyle magazine has compared the Duchess of Cambridge to an aubergine

Today in headlines that have actually been written:

In its coverage of the Chinese state visit to Britain, Elle magazine has been running the rule over the sartorial choices of the assorted world leaders (and the royal family).

Yesterday, the Duchess of Cambridge wore a purple Dolce & Gabbana dress while the Duke was praised for choosing a tie in the same colour. Praised.

Apparently, Kate "matched her heels and clutch to the dress, giving her the look of a gorgeous, ladylike human eggplant". Or as the sub-headline read: "a beautiful royal veggie".

Right.

More: 11 of the worst sex tips women's magazines have given their readers