
It's early-to-mid-November you excitable manchildren. Get a bloody grip.
If your Christmas excitement starts before you could open an advent calendar window, you need to have a serious think about what you're doing with the other 11 months of the year.
But anyway, 'tis the season for companies to start harking back to some timeless, faux-sentimentalist semi-detached Oxfordshire vision of 25 December.
It's always a high production value advert in which some off-the-focus-group-charts-adorable kid makes a generous gesture to his family, before the corporate watermark shows up, to make you feel fuzzy enough in-store to shill out for a stocking filler that won't see the light of January.
They usually work pretty well.
Here's our ranking of this year's efforts with a bit of help from Twitter:
1. Marks and Spencer
The clear winner. They got the cutest kid, and the off-beat-but-slick-but-folksy charm, just right.
The plot is that Mrs. Claus receives a letter from a brother who often fights with his sister, asking for just the right Christmas gift. Mrs Claus goes out of her way.
It's suitably feel-good.
Twitter agrees:
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Here's the full advert:
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One pet-peeve - it's Father Christmas, not Santa Claus, and this advert is advancing the Americanism horribly.
2. Waitrose
This one is the boldest attempt to turn you into a gibbering wreck.
It follows the perilous journey of a robin across the country returning to a plinth upon which a girl has placed a mince pie (we assume she does this every year).
Along the way, Waitrose plays havok with a innocent child's (yours) emotions as the robin escapes the clutches of predators and storms alike, to return home.
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Your mum's going to love it, your Dad's gonna pretend to be hard-hearted about it, but you'll catch him bawling in the kitchen searching desperately for a scapegoat onion to chop.
Twitter also loves the Waitrose offering:
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3. John Lewis
The plot is essentially a man makes a trampoline for his daughter in the backgarden for Christmas day.
The dog watches two foxes, a badger and a hedgehog enjoy it at night. In the morning, the dog beats the girl to be the first one to enjoy the trampoline.
A real misfire. Makes viewers crack a slight smile, but doesn't tug at heartstrings at all. People also managed to turn it into an unfortunate metaphor for Donald Trump beating Hillary Clinton to the White House.
I will be taking my kitchen equipment purtchases elsewhere this year.
You can watch the full video below:
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So, which was best?
Vote for your favourite in the poll below:
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More: Mock Christmas ad tells John Lewis to stop promoting 'unity' while funding 'hate'