Prince William marks Father's Day with new image of George, Charlotte and ...
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Father's Day is being celebrated today, with Dad's around the world using the opportunity to dust off their seemingly endless book of bad puns.

Dads - here are a few more to add to your roster.

(Sorry, kids.)

Read the full list, below:

1.

What’s the heaviest soup in Asia? One Ton


2.

Dad: "What would you like for pudding?"

Me: "Ice-cream."

Dad: "Me too, shame we don’t have any."


3.

Two pears on a table. Dad picks one up and says: 'They’re not a pair anymore.'


4.

Dad (when driving past a cemetery): 'They put the fence up to keep everyone in!'


5.

(When driving in the car)

Me: "Where are we Dad?"

Dad: "In the car."


6.

When squeezing past in the hallway and saying "excuse me please".

A classic dad joke is to lock you in a massive hug and say:

I thought you said SQUEEZE ME.



7.

What did the secret service yell when protecting the last president?

Donald, duck!

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8.

Me: "Please may I leave the table?"

Dad: "And where are you going to leave it?"


9.

When rubbing your eye

Dad: "What's up?"

Me: "There's something in my eye."

Dad: "Yeah, it's your finger."


10.

Me: What's on the TV?

Dad: Just some dust.


11.

Dad: "I’ve got a great joke about a pizza."

Me: "What is it?"

Dad: "I can’t tell you. It’s too cheesy."


12.

Me: "Dad, why isn't the snake moving?"

Dad: “I don't know son, it must have a reptile dysfunction..."


13.

Where does a bee pee? At a BP station.


14.

I knew I shouldn’t have had the seafood. I’m feeling a little eel.


15.

Me: "Cocktail sausage?"

You: "It’s too early for a drink, honeybun."


16.

Me: "What are you doing, dad?"

Dad (standing on one leg at ATM): "I’m checking my balance."


17.

Dad is scratching his eye.

Me: "Are you okay?"

Dad: "No I’m really worried I’ve got a piece of steel in my eye."

Me: "Why?"

Dad: "Because I may have it for the rust of my life."


18.

Me: "How are you feeling?"

Dad: "Same as normal. With my hands."


19.

Dad (watching the football): "Is Concarne playing?"

Me: "Huh?"

Dad: "Is Concarne playing? For Chile?"


20.

Dad: "Have you heard about that new film Constipation?"

Me: "No."

Dad: "That’s because it hasn’t come out yet."


21.

Dad: "I can cut wood just by looking at it."

Me: "I don't believe you. How?"

Dad: "It's true. I saw it with my own eyes!"


22.

I finally bought a large thesaurus I've wanted for ages - but when I opened it all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.

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