Flight attendants reveal the worst things that have ever happened on planes

Aeroplanes seem to inspire the worst behaviour in everyone.

It might be that humans don't interact well when crammed into pressurised tin cans hurtling through the air at 400mph.

It might be that no stand-up comic has yet worked out what the deal is with airline food.

Or it may be that we were set an awful precedent with an iconic early 1980s comedy.

Either way, redditors asked cabin crew for the worst stories they had the other day, and they delivered the goods.

Let us know your favourites, or if you have any that better them:

1. The least pleasant human:

We know that some people can't immediately remedy their odour, or size, or even behaviour.

However, there are conscious decisions we make and those we choose not too, like doing our unpleasant business in the bathroom and not making sexual unwanted approaches.

As u/ShibaHook relates:

Had a guy on my flight that would not stop farting. He also hit on the 15 year old girl next to him. Guy was in his late 50s.

Yuck.

2. The drunken Pavarotti:

Sadly, as u/hunter15991 relates, his opera of choice on the one and a half hour flight, was not a pitch perfect Nessun Dorma, but a wailing rendition, or twelve, of The Star Spangled Banner, Yankee Doodle and God Bless America before passing out.

Weirdest part of the story? The flight was from Moscow to St Petersberg in the 1980s.

3. The self-nominated candidate:

We're going to let u/ViscountLobulon retell this one, he has a certain poetry:

I feel like I should be a candidate for this. I was on an 8 hour overnight flight and since I can't sleep on planes I had decided to get drunk on the free booze. When the plane was coming in to land I needed to throw up but couldn't find the sick bag, so threw up in to one of the blankets they had given out. Being drunk and not sure what to do, I stuffed the blanket under the chair in front and left. I also had bought a hardcore pornography magazine as a joke souvenir for a friend which I left in the magazine holder. I also spent a good chunk of the flight either requesting more alcohol or drunkenly chatting with the cabin crew.

I've since been advised that spirits are better to drink when flying, as the bubbles in beer can feel strange in your stomach when the air pressure changes due to pressurisation and depressurisation of the cabin which can lead to vomiting.

4. Marlon Brando:

To be fair, how many cabin crew can say they were on a flight with Marlon Brando?

According to u/Jeremy_Reed his mother was cabin crew for one Pan American World Airways flight and the man himself was aboard:

She said he told dirty jokes the whole time and after each time he would slap his knee really hard and guffaw.

She liked him, but when he was leaving the plane and giving her a big old hug she said his tummy felt like jello.

Not bizarre, probably embellished - either way, we hope it's real.

5. The Brawler to Lithuania:

On a flight from London Luton to Vilnius, u/Cosmic09 spotted "a pretty awful" passenger:

He was pretty much in classic chav gear, and was visibly drunk as a skunk, he spent the majority of flight shouting to the attendants for more whisky.

Promising.

He then proceeds to spill a can of beer over his neighbour and a fight ensues.

Three attendants break it up and they are separated, but skunk man spends the flight swearing loudly until a female attendant turns up to quieten him.

In u/Cosmic09's words:

He continues being a twatbag and slaps her on the arse, I have no idea how she kept her cool that day I really don't.

6. The presumptive businessman:

A businessman in first class was "very insistent", according to u/Balteusss, that his godmother - then-flight attendant - should join him in the bathroom for some time.

She passed this message on to her male cabin supervisor, who grabbed the man by the arm.

He then very loudly offered his services in the bathroom if the man needed a cabin member.

For some reason, this offer was not taken.

7. Not a plane but it deserves to be on this list:

Ok, we broke the only rule about this list. We're sorry.

But honestly, who does what u/aljobar witnessed?

Technically I'm not a flight attendant, but I do a similar job on board long-distance trains.

Once we had a mother blow weed smoke into her newborn daughter's face to get her to go to sleep.

More:Pilots reveal the 7 most bizarre things they've ever seen while flying