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Mimi Launder
Dec 15, 2017

Picture:
Twitter / @NickKocher
Modern technology allows for pranks far more elaborate - and terrifying - than the simple whoopee cushion of yesteryear.
Writer Nick Kocher, it seems, fully embraced the potential and possibilities of the 21st century to truly troll his friends.
It all started when Kocher's coat was stolen - in it were the keys to his apartment and, even worse, his address.
Here’s a story. So about a month ago, my coat was stolen. This was not fun....— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179579
It became even less fun when I remembered what I’d left in the, now stolen, coat.— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179580
In one pocket was an envelope addressed to my apartment. In the other pocket, were THE KEYS TO THAT APARTMENT.— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179581
So this thief now knows where I live, and can EASILY let himself in and murder my face off.— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179581
Intent on not getting murdered, Kocher installed a flashy security camera.
In a fit of paranoia, I install a @Nest security camera. (Shoutout to @nest. Pay me something)— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179581
Weeks go by, no break-ins, no murdering of me, nothing.— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179582
But the only footage was of Kocher ambling around his kitchen.
The only thing that happens is now EVERY time I walk through my kitchen, the @nest camera texts me an awkward, unfl… https://t.co/tQyL4ZTvDu— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179595
That is until Kocher's friend comes to stay.
At this point, it's important to point that Kocher has written for Saturday Night Life and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Basically, he's paid to be funny.
Then....one weekend I leave town and let my friend @thejonbass crash at my place.— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179596
Jon does not know about the security camera.— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179597
Fun ensues.— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179597
Kocher's friend Jon does not know he's being watched.
So, Kocher - of course - thinks up the most terrifying way possible to tell him about the camera.
Now listen. Am I a bad person for watching this without telling him? Legally speaking....yes.— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179617
So day 2, I decide to let Jon know I can see him.— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179618
One fun feature of this camera, is you can watch your friend silently text on his phone for 20 minutes and then sud… https://t.co/jWpILm2JEH— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179628
Jon and I have a nice little chat for a bit. https://t.co/bFOsT7bdbN— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179643
It is then that Jon makes some very incorrect assumptions.
Then at one point, he says this... https://t.co/3lUQxfvWLr— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179652
So Jon thinks I can only see him when the blue light is on. He is wrong. The camera only lights up when you speak t… https://t.co/fq9KCgCLPb— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179664
And Kocher proceeds to basically haunt his friend. But with tech.
Hours later, I remember another fun fact about my apartment. I can remotely control my @WeMo lights from my phone.… https://t.co/TxXgJYVZWV— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179681
Sidenote: Wondering why Jon was calling me “Mike”? When we first met, he called me “Nick”. But as time passed, “N… https://t.co/EOcscg8ON3— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179682
Anyhow, for the rest of the day, whenever I think to do so, I make the lights in the apartment go crazy. I do this… https://t.co/Gv5DUkxpte— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179698
Jon eventually stumbles upon an ingenious solution to being spied on.
Jon eventually gets fed up with me. So he does this. https://t.co/PNzI1ghtSI— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179710
(Careful listeners may have heard Jon fart again at the 9 second mark)— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179711
But Kocher, always ready and waiting, gets revenge.
To retaliate for blocking my view, that night at 4:27am.... I remotely turn all the lights on and speak through th… https://t.co/gcdxWwHI4k— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179720
Jon has no choice but to surrender.
The next day, Jon decided to crash with someone else. The end. Epilogue: I love @thejonbass more than oxygen an… https://t.co/15F6BlUIDl— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513179721
Just when you think the story must be over, this twist hits you.
You guys. YOU GUYS!!!!!! https://t.co/03t2CLrK5x— Nick Kocher (@Nick Kocher) 1513280593
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