Red trousers have been utterly ruined by hipsters, according to Country Life magazine

Country Life magazine has declared it's time for readers to reclaim that hallmark of genteel manners and expensive tastes - the red trouser.

Also known as t-sser trousers and w-nker pants, a pair of red trousers is as synonymous with wealth as Barbour jackets and Hunter wellies.

It’s time to take back the red trouser, to reclaim and celebrate it.

Our menfolk will wear them on the beaches (yes, even in 32˚C heat). They will wear them in the fields, in the streets of Fulham and Putney and in the hills. May they never surrender them!

Although hating on the red-trouser wearing denizens of South-West London, the Home Counties and elitist universities actually peaked in 2013, Country Life picked up on it this week.

A poll by YouGov found a few years ago that just 12 per cent of people viewed red trousers positively.

We're not really sure why that finding was surprising, given the state of this blog:

The problem, Country Life suggests, is “inverted snobbery”, rather than the fact that red trousers are a literal red rag to Corbynistas, Occupy protesters and anyone else affected by the UK's spiralling wealth inequality gap.

One man interviewed by the magazine has refused to let his red trousers see the light of day until the cultural appropriation is over.

Since both hipsters and social climbers... have appropriated them, he’s put his red trousers at the back of the wardrobe ‘until they become unfashionable again’.

Last we checked, no hipsters had ironically worn red trousers since 2013 either - a hypothesis maybe borne out by the fact that according to the expensive trouser sellers of Mayfair's Jermyn Street, the politicised items of clothing just aren't selling like they used to.

Trousers in shades of cornflower blue are flying out the door, however, and the colour is on its way to becoming the new red.

There we have it, class warriors: your new target has been identified...

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