Wheelchair user says family is ‘sexist’ for letting non-disabled brother do fewer chores than she does

Sinead Butler
Sunday 06 June 2021 11:14
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A disabled woman - user tikitakidoggo - shares her family dilemma on Reddit

(Getty Images/iStockphoto)

A wheelchair user has shared on Reddit how her family make her do more chores than her non-disabled brother because they say it’s a “women’s job.”

User tikitakidoggo shared her story on the “Am I the Asshole?” subreddit to ask people whether she was one for calling her parents sexist.

In the post she explained how she often uses a wheel chair so “cannot do very much lifting at all.”

Further context provided later revealed that her and her brother are both 17-years-old and the woman’s disability is amplified pain syndrome (AMPS).

“This means that I feel extreme pain from simple tasks such as walking. Some days I can’t even shower because of how easy it is to trigger the pain receptors in my legs.”

The woman then shared her dilemma: “My mother allows me to get $100 of the $130 I get monthly from my father, my brother also gets $100 of the $130 he gets from my father.

“We have to do work around the house to earn this money. 90% of this money goes to buying hygiene products for myself, medicine and necessities for my animals along with vet care.

“I have no problems with doing work however there is an issue,

“My brother who is older than me and is not disabled has to take out the trash because I cannot do it and that is all he has to do for his money.”

She then explained the full extent of the chores she’s required to do in order to earn her money:

“I have to do the dishes, clean the cabinets, repaint walls, re-organize everything, clean out the fridge, clean up piss on the toilet from my brother and pick up his toilet paper when he misses the trashcan, clean the drains when they get clogged otherwise I do not get my money.”

“Also when my brother drops trash when he is taking out the trash I have to clean that too.

When she addressed this issue with her parents, they were not exactly the most understanding.

“I brought this up to my parents and they simply said “I don’t mean to be sexist, but that is a woman’s job”

“Um? Excuse me? I brought up how he is perfectly able to do some of the stuff I do, then they called me lazy. I do not care about the fact that I have to work for money.

“That is normal,” she added, “I simply care that I am doing much more than he is.”

She said her parents said the allocation of chores was fair because the daughter has more animals than her brother does and “it is a privilege to own them.”

But she did not buy this excuse: “I spent my own money on these animals and I am 100% financially responsible for them.”

The post received an overwhelming response, reassuring the daughter that she was not an “asshole” for saying her parents were sexist.

One person said: “NTA [Not an asshole] - That’s completely unfair and totally sexist.”

“NTA. Sounds like they’re sexist and ableist,” another person wrote.

Someone else replied: “That is extremely sexist. I dont know what your parents are thinking. NTA”

“NTA. They are picking favorite child and being sexist at the same time. If you can find someone else to stay with,” a fourth person commented.

Well, we all know what the verdict is in this case.

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