Woman gets revenge on cheating boyfriend by rejecting him from fake job
A therapist is showing people how to spot whether their partner will cheat on them.
Kate, who goes by @restoringrelationships on TikTok, took to the platform to share her expertise and give a lesson on "attachment 101".
"A little bit of a morbid subject, but today we're doing attachment 101 and how to predict if your partner is gonna cheat on you," she said in the video.
Kate, who is a family and marriage therapist and podcaster, then began to draw a triangle diagram, which is often referred to as triangulation and uses the example of an anxious and avoidant partner in a relationship.
Triangulation is essentially a concept that involves three people or three outside sources to help steer clear of conversation and misdirect energy. When stress is placed on the bond between two partners, the avoidant will bring in the third party, Kate stated.
"I also like to think of avoidant attachment styles as externalizers," Kate explained. "When there is an issue, they don't come to the relationship like an anxious [partner] would."
She further said that the avoidant partner seeks out an external source to satisfy their emotional needs, such as alcohol, work, and even another person. On the other hand, an anxious partner will internalize their emotions and cause stress and strain within their relationships.
The triangulation in the relationship creates a faux sense of stability, which Kate said, if you aren't aware of the push and pull, the relationship is at its mercy.
"Basically, if your partner is constantly going outside the relationship to get their needs met, that, to me, are warning signs that cheating could happen," she continued.
Healing for anxious attachments is expressing needs + getting support (which is v different than triangulating!) & for avoidants it’s leaning into connection #cheating #attachment
People took the video's comments to share their own attachment styles and ask questions based on their own relationships.
"As an avoidant, I felt misunderstood in my last relationship. I need space to pursue my own hobbies and have my own goals, or I don't feel fulfilled," one wrote.
"WOW, you literally just described my relationship. My bf drinks all the time & wants to run away from problems, but I wanna discuss and resolve them," another added.
A third wrote: "So spot on. He's avoidant; I'm anxious. I didn't leave my 'family of origin,' and we are suffering for it now. And just found out he's cheating."
Someone else who said it all boils down to communication wrote: "So it all comes down to communication. COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNERS! Compromise, pick your battles! Don't let 2-3 days go by without addressing [the] issue."
In a second video, Kate addressed a comment from the first video: "Ah. So is villainising the people who hurt me part of my avoidant?" the person asked.
"This is why I love my account- yall are SMART AF & I learn equally from u," Kate said in response.
Indy100 reached out to Kate via email.
Elsewhere, other people have taken to TikTok to share their stories of how they were able to find out that their significant others cheated on them.
A woman posted a video of her opening the sun visor on the passenger side of her boyfriend’s car and pulling its mirror halfway. After that, she closed the visor with the mirror still partially open.