A woman has detailed how she walked out on her boyfriend’s family’s Christmas after his mother suggested “setting him up” with the neighbour’s daughter at a New Year’s party.
She left, along with the food she brought, and also skipped the family’s New Year’s party.
Her partner is upset that she walked out during the dinner, whereas she feels he should have defended her at the time.
As it’s been an ongoing argument between the pair, she took to the Am I The A**hole subreddit to ask others if she is in the wrong.
She explained that the dinner was the first time she met her boyfriend’s family, but as she was at the dining table his mother brought up how the neighbour’s daughter is single, “pretty”, and a “good Christian”. The mother said she intended to invite her to the family’s New Year’s celebration.
She felt uncomfortable, and almost as though her partner’s mum was trying to “put her in her place”. Her partner declined his mum’s offer to play matchmaker, but his girlfriend was upset that he wasn’t more assertive.
If she were in his shoes, she said she would have confronted her.
At this point, she got up, took her casserole, cake, pie, and wine from the kitchen, and drove home.
She texted her boyfriend: "Not here for this reality dating show drama lol. Is your mom always like this?"
He asked where she was and she told him she “headed out, I’m not into the trashy reality TV drama vibe”. When he asked where, she told him she was at home.
He said he didn’t want to spend Christmas alone, so she told him to come by. But he felt conflicted as his family was “tense” when they realised she took her cooking with her.
She told him: “Come by or don’t, just tell me when you figure it out.”
She then ate some of the casserole and cake, drank a lot of wine, and fell asleep. As she was asleep, her boyfriend tried texting and calling her as he decided to leave the party to join her, but ended up staying at home when she didn’t respond.
The following day she asked if he confronted his mother, and he told her he had made his disinterest in the “set up” known when she first made the remark.
She asked him to have a “serious talk” with his mother because she wasn’t convinced his mum understood how she felt.
In the end, she made other plans for New Year’s because she didn’t want to “be dealing with pettiness”.
He was frustrated that she missed the party, and it’s been a point of contention for the couple ever since.
She wrote: “I think he should have chewed out his mom on Christmas for being petty and weird. He thinks I shouldn't have ghosted with my food especially because I'd brought a few big parts of the Christmas dinner.”
She concluded the post by asking if she was in the wrong to leave the dinner.
The top comment, with over 13,000 upvotes, reads: “Hell yes you're my hero! now, if bf [boyfriend] can't step up and be yours by having your back he shouldn't get your dessert either.”
Another commenter asked why she’s still with him as he’s “missing his spine”, thus making him a “poor partner”.
Another questioned why no one - including her boyfriend - tried to stop her when they noticed her leave, or offer her an apology. They said she should warn the neighbour about “what she's in for with this wonderful sample of humanoid garbage.”
Responding, the original poster said the neighbour attended the New Year’s celebration only to find out “she was there to be set up with some random guy who already had a girlfriend.” She said she didn’t think to warn her as she didn’t expect her to attend the event.
“Your response to this foolery was outstanding,” another wrote. “You did right by you and it's beautiful to see. Dump the guy though. If he won't call out mummy now, he never will. You need someone with a steel spine like yours.”
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