On the infamous subReddit “Am I the A**hole” threads, things sometimes it’s just not that clear exactly *who* is being the a**hole. That being said, sometimes it’s quite clear.
This brings us to a rather complex story that a user called u/dgreatso posted on Wednesday about his brothers upcoming wedding.
Now this should be a great occasion for all those involved but the sibling has an issue. You see, his brother is gay but because he was previously married to a woman the sibling has objected to his new marriage.
Writing in the forum the man asked:
AITA for refusing to go to my brother’s wedding to another man because he was married to a woman previously and had a son with her?
He says that his decision is based on the “devastation” that he caused his ex-wife and son
The thing is, I’ve been witness to the devastation that this caused to his ex wife and son.
He still is around for his son, but starting a life with a woman when he never was interested in women is something I’ll never understand.
It’s not as if any of us would judge him for being gay. I’ve tried to help out with my nephew when I can so I’ve seen the confusion it’s caused him and the hurt it caused his ex, one of the kindest people I know.
Now that he’s getting married again, the invitations have gone out and I’m invited.
I really don’t feel like celebrating the harm that he caused his family by going to his wedding.
I called him when I got the invitation and explained this to him and he started crying and saying that I wasn’t being fair and that he wants me to be there.
I just explained that I couldn’t be there after everything that happened and I hung up.
My sister called me and said that I was being an unfair dick and that I need to apologize to Chris and plan to be at the wedding. I told her what I told him.
AITA for refusing to go? I think I’m being reasonable but my judgement is also clouded. Be honest.
Naturally, people are schooling him on the nuances of coming out as LGBT+. It’s not always easy, either to realise you’re LGBT+ in the first place, or to tell your family, or to know exactly where you stand on the spectrum.
Maybe his brother thought he was bisexual, or that he could ignore his thoughts.
Others pointed out that the poster had no way of knowing just what was going on in his brother’s life, but for the most part, they all agreed: he is TA, especially as many pointed out, his brother didn’t even cheat on his ex-wife.
Let’s hope he can take back his decision and apologise.