House work is often a job that pretty much everyone wants to avoid.
For blogger Constance Hall, all of the work at home fell on her shoulders.
Speaking to her female friends about the fact that she did “absolutely everything” in the home, all of them were sympathetic. One suggested she ask for help - from her partner, for example.
In a Facebook post that quickly went viral, Hall explained that asking for help wasn’t enough, and as soon as she stopped, help around the house dried up, too.
And so I've come to the conclusion that it's not your job to ask for help, it's not my job to write f***ing lists.. We have enough god dam jobs and teaching someone how to consider me and my ridiculous work load is not one of them.
Just do it.
The post was liked almost 200,000 times and shared 94,646 times, and lots of women wrote in to express support for her.
Simone Elle wrote:
My marriage counsellor had the motto "Nobody sits until everybody sits". If there was work to be done, and one partner was up, the other was also up, doing what needed to be done.
She couldn't save my marriage, but she taught me some awesome life lessons.
Ruther Harper agreed that you shouldn’t have to ask for help in the upkeep of a house that you share with others:
Yes! By asking for specific help, we are still carrying the mental load. And that's what we need to learn to share - the mental load. That's what weighs us down.
Emma Beth Cavalli also made an important point about semantics:
I actually find the term "helping out" incredibly annoying. That implies that everything is the woman's responsibility and the man is somehow doing her a favour by "helping".
No! The responsibility is shared between both partners and they should be working together equally. Similarly fathers do not "babysit" their children, it's called parenting.