From a “reincarnation” of King Arthur to a man offering free neutering for Boris, the election will see more marvellously British no-hopers bidding for your vote than ever before. Here are the top 12 wacky electoral eccentrics.
Dave Bishop, seat TBC
Standing alternately as Elvis Loves Pets, The Church of the Militant Elvis, Lord Biro and the Bus Pass Elvis, Dave Bishop has stood since 1997. Among his policy ideas are “free neutering for cats and Boris Johnson”.
Colin Bex, Eastleigh
Colin Bex’s mission is self-government for the ancient lands of Wessex.
Solomon Curtis, Wealden
The youngest candidate to emerge so far is Labour activist Solomon Curtis. Just 18, the young chap has a Tory majority of 17,000 to overturn to become the youngest MP ever.
Doris Osen, Ilford North
The oldest candidate to declare, Doris Osen, 84, of Epic – Elderly Persons’ Independent Party – spent £1,000 on 30,000 fliers to voters.
Dave Wasgij, Preston
Standing to give “piece a chance”, comedian Dave Wasgij has been captured by the jigsaw lobby and is promising free puzzles for OAPs.
Joe Steed, Calder Valley
Protest singer Joe Steed will provide colour at the count. He says war can be prevented through music alone.
Al Murray, South Thanet
Presumably wants a boost in sales for his next comedy DVD.
Robert Boaler, South Thanet
Robert Boaler for the Al-Zebabist Nation of Ooog party, wants to build a “great wall of Thanet” to save the area from the “elite” in Broadstairs.
Arthur Uther Pendragon, Salisbury
He’s stood for Parliament in five elections and believes he’s the reincarnation of the King Arthur. Apparently, the stones say this is finally his year.
Greg Clough, Islington
An Australian married to a Greek, Ukip’s Greg Clough wants to stop immigrants using “our” NHS.
Mark Flanagan, Leeds North West
Mark Flanagan is giving voters the option of voting for “none of the above” and thereby rejecting every other candidate.