Boris Johnson branded ‘poundshop Adrian Chiles’ after 'weird' first Daily Mail article

We were told it would be “required reading”, but Boris Johnson’s first column for the Daily Mail has been dismissed as a poorer version of broadcaster Adrian Chiles’ articles for The Guardian.

Just one day after the ex-prime minister and former MP for Uxbridge and South Ruislip was found to have deliberately misled MPs by the House of Commons’ Privileges Committee, Mr Johnson revealed he had signed up to write weekly articles for the publication.

In a video shared on Friday, the politician said he was “thrilled” to contribute to the Mail and promised it would be “completely unexpurgated stuff”.

“I may even have to cover politics, but I’ll obviously try to do that as little as possible, unless I absolutely have to,” he added.

The Mail itself even went as far as to describe Mr Johnson – who was once sacked from a job at The Timesover allegations he made up a quote – as “one of the wittiest and most original writers in the business”.

So, after all this hype, what was the incisive, essential analysis that the former mayor of London offered up for his first piece this weekend?

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“The wonder drug I hoped would stop my 11:30pm fridge raids for cheddar and chorizo didn’t work for me. But I still believe it could change the lives of millions.”

Eh?

Well, he did say he’d avoid talking about politics as much as possible, but many weren’t expecting Mr Johnson to talk about his decision to take weight loss medication known as semaglutide (or Ozempic, to give it one of its brand names), which is also a treatment for type 2 diabetes.

Mr Johnson wrote: “After 40 years of moral failure, 40 years of weakness in the face of temptation … I was going to acquire a new and invincible chemical willpower. I was going to become an ex-glutton, a person of moderation and grace and restraint, and like my Cabinet colleagues I was going to start to resemble a chiselled whippet.

“I must have been losing four or five pounds a week – maybe more – when all at once it started to go wrong. I don’t know why exactly, maybe it was something to do with constantly flying around the world, and changing time zones, but I started to dread the injections, because they were making me feel ill.

“For now I am back to exercise and willpower, but I look at my colleagues – leaner but not hungrier – and I hope that if science can do it for them, maybe one day it can help me, and everyone else.”

Well, we know how unafraid Mr Johnson is of fridges given he once hid in one to escape an interview with Piers Morgan.

As for the article, Twitter users were soon comparing it to that of former Daybreak presenter Adrian Chiles’ work for The Guardian – articles which have come with such outlandish headlines as “I’d love to laugh like a baby again, but the best I can hope for is a big sneeze” and “A few wise words have stopped me eating like a barnyard animal”:

Who knows what Mr Johnson will write about next…

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