This dating 'red flag' has got TikTok divided - but is it reasonable to expect this from a potential match?

It turns out, just agreeing to a date isn’t enough anymore — you’ve got to confirm it, too. On the day. Or it’s not happening.

That’s the new dating boundary going viral online, with many women saying if they don’t hear from their match on the day of the date, they simply won’t show up. And the internet is well and truly split over whether it’s a fair move or just unnecessary drama.

On TikTok, the trend has been picking up steam, with users sharing their own takes — and receipts.

One post featured a series of screenshots, including: “When he doesn’t confirm the date by the deadline, so I’m going out with the girls instead.”

Another bluntly put: “He didn’t confirm the date day so there won’t be no date.”

Over on X/Twitter, the backlash kicked in.

“Ladies: if you say yes to a date, you’ve agreed to go on the date,” one frustrated user argued. “Playing games like ‘he needs to confirm or it doesn’t count!!!’ because TikTok told you to is a really dumb way to waste your time.”

They went on to say people should “be picky about things that matter” and “quit making up rules to be upset about.”

Others agreed, with one person chiming in: “This is the kind of deranged behaviour you only see on dating apps. They’d never pull this on someone they’d actually spoken to.”

Still, many rushed to defend the trend — and shared personal reasons why they now insist on a confirmation text.

“No, I’ve messaged to confirm dates and received no response,” one TikToker said. “Then I’d hear from them later that day or the next with [STUPID] excuses. You learn this the hard way. The girls are right — lack of communication and enthusiasm is a red flag.”

Another added: “No sorry this is actually legit. If you don’t confirm day of, you’re much more likely to get stood up. If I haven’t heard from a date the day of, I assume I’ve been ghosted.”

So, is this a sign of better boundaries — or just playing games?

Whether it’s about respect or rigidity, one thing’s clear: in today’s dating world, the bare minimum now includes a day-of text. Consider this your reminder.

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