The ‘embarrassing boyfriend’ debate is spiralling as singles celebrate their freedom

Every now and again, a single online debate breaks free from its corner of the internet and dominates timelines for weeks. This time, it’s all about whether having a boyfriend in 2025 is actually... a little bit embarrassing.

But where did it all begin?

Vogue’s Chanté Joseph kicked things off with a feature exploring the shift from the once boyfriend-heavy internet culture to today’s landscape, where more people are choosing to keep their relationships off social media. Think blurred-out faces, cryptic hand-holding shots – or no trace of a partner at all.

Chanté observed that having a boyfriend "doesn't affirm your womanhood anymore" in modern society, nor is it "considered an achievement".

If anything, she argues, it’s now more of a "flex" to be single.

"Heterosexuality has long been purposefully indefinable, so it is harder for those within it and outside of it to critique," she writes. "However, as our traditional roles begin to crumble, maybe we’re being forced to re-evaluate our blind allegiance to heterosexuality."

At the heart of it all lies the question – and the headline of the article itself: Is Having A Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?

Unsurprisingly, the piece ignited a full-blown online conversation, spawning TikTok memes, think-pieces, and endless commentary across Instagram and X/Twitter.

One person jumped to the writer’s defence, clarifying that the piece isn’t about "shaming love," but rather about challenging the romanticisation of "being chosen," when in reality, "the real win is not needing that kind of validation."

Another reader, @iaragoncalve5, praised the feature, reflecting on how, as a teenager, she was eager to know which celebrity was dating which man, adding how much broader the space is now for these kinds of discussions.

"I love how we are all very self-aware as to how having a man in your life can take away from your aura entirely," she shared. "A man will either pour into you or add to you so much or completely suck the f***ing life out of you – there's no in between."

Others took a more light-hearted approach, turning the moment into a meme and joking, "what a time to be alive and single."

Another user quipped that this is precisely the sort of content worth paying for.

Of course, the piece ruffled a few feathers, with one follow-up suggesting the feature reads as a "little jealous".

Chanté (@chantayyjayy) later took to TikTok to address some of the responses she’d personally received – including messages from people leaping to defend their partners.

"It's still embarrassing," she shared.

"Embarrassment is such a light touch term, but what I'm really trying to get at, where men are societally, where they are politically, education-wise, how they behave, the attitudes we've normalised – this cannot run anymore," she shared.

"The heterosexual romantic fantasy is crumbling," Chanté signed off. "It is crumbling before our very eyes."

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