Lifestyle

Gen Z women may be living a modern version of The Odyssey's Penelope - here's how

Universal Pictures

Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey has brought Penelope back into the spotlight, and we're not just talking about Anne Hathaway's stellar performance as Odysseus's faithful wife...

In Homer's epic, Penelope waited 20 years for Odysseus to return, and it seems Gen Z women may be living a modern version of her story, at least according to recent research by EVA AI.

The survey found nearly 9 in 10 Gen Z women say they've stayed awake hoping to be texted, and 85 per cent are caught in "The Penelope Wait".

Coined by leading virtual intimacy platform Dating.com, "The Penelope Wait" is the longing to hear from someone they care about while unsure the message will ever come.

Anne Hathaway plays Penelope in Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey.Universal Pictures

As noted by Dating.com therapist, Jaime Bronstein, "...it's not simply sitting around; it's hope-filled waiting."

"This is more about being conditioned than making choices. Women grow up believing that ‘being chosen’ is what validates everything," she told Indy100.

"If they take a chance and pursue a man, chances are they’ll end up looking needy and might scare him away. While holding back might feel like an exercise in patience, there’s also something painful about it."

Bronstein explained how waiting to be chosen has become such a defining emotional experience, "Because it places your self-respect in another’s hands When you’re waiting to be picked, you’re essentially outsourcing your value to the timing and availability of another individual."

What's more, over a third (35 per cent) are waiting to be reached while unable to recall the last time they felt like someone's priority.

To which Bronstein describes how "that space between the desire to feel valuable and feeling valuable is where much of their anxiety and poor self-esteem stems from. Over time, the act of waiting becomes all too familiar and inevitable."

Penelope waited for two decades for her husband Odysseus to return home.Universal Pictures

We see Penelope's unwavering belief throughout the film that her husband would eventually return and while she never gave in, it appears to be a different story for today's generation as 91 per cent say they've accepted loneliness as a normal part of life - which Bronstein says is the "most alarming statistic."

"Penelope was waiting due to her choice to remain loyal. Generation Y (Millennials) is beginning to wait because their expectations have been lowered."

When it comes to the state of modern dating, what is the core problem?

According to Bronstein it suffers from an "issue of reciprocity" in regards to dating apps.

"The sheer number of choices on dating apps has paradoxically made people feel more valuable, as the enormity of possible matches reinforces the perception that everyone is highly sought after," she explained.

The key being for women to understand that "patience is not commitment," meaning "a good relationship doesn’t mean suppressing your needs in order to maintain the relationship," and asking yourself, "Is this person putting in effort in the relationship, or do you have to fill in the gaps with hope? Is the relationship reciprocal?"

Bronstein recalled, "One of healthiest changes I have noticed in my clients is when they stop asking themselves, 'why hasn’t he texted yet?' and start asking, 'Is this even meeting my needs?'

"Unlike Penelope, we do not have to wait twenty years before finding out," she concluded.

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