Why some women prefer to celebrate Galentines to Valentines

While Valentine's Day often brings pressure to celebrate romantic love, many are finding solace and joy in an alternative: Galentine's Day. For Christie O’Sullivan of Trinity, Florida, her most cherished February celebration wasn't with her husband of 21 years, but a memorable day spent with a girlfriend before she married.

They took the day off work, indulged in massages, and enjoyed cocktails followed by a fancy dinner. "For me, it was 10 out of 10. That whole day was intentional," O’Sullivan recalled, describing it as empowering "on a day that’s usually filled with pressure to be in a relationship, or sadness because I wasn’t currently in one."

The concept of Galentine’s Day, a celebration of female friendships, gained significant traction after a 2010 episode of the popular TV comedy Parks and Recreation. Amy Poehler’s character, Leslie Knope, famously gathered her "gal pals" on 13 February, declaring: "What’s Galentine’s Day? Oh, it’s only the best day of the year."

While honouring female friendships can, of course, happen any day, the 13th of February has become a focal point for many. Some opt for lavish gatherings, such as Chela Pappaccioli of Franklin Lakes, New Jersey, who has hosted a Galentine’s Day bash at her home for the past three years.

Anastasia Richman, from left, Chela Papaccioli, Nova Brown and Maria Suppa pose at a Galentine's Day party hosted by PapaccioliJoyce Shmaruk via AP

With a hired bartender and DJ, this year she invited 45 of her closest friends, with 34 confirmations already received. Gift bags are being assembled for guests, and a strict "no men allowed" policy is in place, "unless the bartender happens to be male."

Despite the extravagance, Pappaccioli insists it is worthwhile. "It’s an escape to just be with your girls, be silly, do something fun and just focus on the friendships you’ve created and enjoying each other’s company," she explains.

Others prefer shared experiences. Liz Momblanco of Berkley, Michigan, a self-described "serial hobbyist", invites friends to join classes ranging from cookie and cake decorating to calligraphy and stained glass.

"I enjoy learning something new and having a shared experience," said Momblanco, who has also attended women’s day retreats offering activities like floral arranging, yoga, or cold plunges.

Heart-shaped sugar cookies are displayed in Berkley, MichiganLiz Momblanco via AP

Marney Wolf, who runs the retreat company Luna Wolf, highlights how art and creativity foster community. "It bonds you, whether it’s the smallest thing or really deep. You watch these grown women turn into almost like a childlike kindergarten response like, ‘Oh my gosh! Good job! You’re so talented!’ That little lift is the easiest thing to do," she noted.

Wolf strategically schedules her Galentine’s-themed retreats around Valentine’s Day, acknowledging that for some, 14 February can be a lonely time. "I know it can be a really lonely time for people and I think some take it for granted," she says.

Pappaccioli echoes this sentiment, noting that even married individuals can feel let down. "Even if you’re married it can be depressing because your husband may not be doing what you want or your boyfriend may not support you in the way you want," she says. "It’s nice to know that you don’t need that. You can still celebrate the holiday, but turn it around a little bit and celebrate the relationships you want to."

Galentine’s Day gatherings also offer an opportunity to forge new friendships and deepen existing ones, encouraging participants to put away phones and build lasting memories.

A man walks holding flowers and balloons on Valentine's DayAP

Christie O’Sullivan, a social media strategist, particularly valued the phone-free nature of her memorable Galentine’s Day. "We could be fully present — no photos, no texts, no nothing," she recalls. "So while that means there’s no actual record of that day occurring, it also means the details became a core memory without it."

Beyond elaborate plans, celebrations can be as simple as going out for coffee, playing cards, visiting a play or museum, or enjoying a hike or workout class. Other suggestions include thrift store shopping, country line dancing, roller skating, karaoke, junk journaling, or indulging in manicures and pedicures.