11 of the weirdest bits of Jubilee merchandise that you can actually buy | indy100

6 things to know about the Queen’s platinum jubilee

Indy

Her Majesty the Queen will become the first British monarch to celebrate a Platinum Jubilee after 70 years on the throne.

We're happy for her, but mainly pretty pleased it's given us an extra bank holiday.

And brands must be pretty pleased too, as it has given them the opportunity to flog a huge range of Queen-themed products to - if you are feeling generous - celebrate her reign, or - if you are feeling cynical - capitalise on the trend and make some money.

Whatever you think about it, here are 11 bits of tat you can buy to see in the Jubilee in style.

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Barbie Queen

Mattel has unveiled a limited-edition Queen Barbie doll to mark the platinum jubilee. It is sold out - naturally - but Amazon might restock it if you have £94.99 to spare.

Mattell

Royal Pickle

Tracklements have made a pickle to celebrate the Queen. The vegan spread features Lincolnshire onions, Muscovado sugar and malt vinegar along with tamarind paste, chilli, allspice and lemon juice.

Jubilee rowing machine

While 20 per cent of sales go to Parkinson's UK which can only be good, we didn't expect a Union flag clad rowing machine to make its way onto the Jubilee tat market. It is only £3500. Steal.

Chicken crowns

These snacks which we are sure the Queen would never ever eat are now available in Iceland. It is how she would want us to celebrate her long reign.

\u201c@putasinghonit Ar Liz has always been a fan of a gourmet chicken nugget\u201d
— Bally Singh (@Bally Singh) 1653841241

Union jack oven gloves

And thank goodness Etsy is selling £15 oven gloves so you can take your Jubilee chicken crowns out of the oven with patriotism and safety.

Lamqueeni

You can see what Lambrini did here with their limited edition bottle which only costs £3.

\u201cIt's what lizzie would want\u201d
— Parker (@Parker) 1653493681

Royal mint coin

A special 50p coin to celebrate the Queen is on sale for... £7. Yes, people are selling money for 14 times its value.

M&S ham and egg sandwich

Babe, what's wrong? You've barely touched your jubilee giant egg and ham sandwich.

\u201cthe m&s ham and whole egg sandwich is a hate crime between two slices of bread, and for \u00a34.25, a hate crime on your bank balance. a farce.\u201d
— Bally Singh (@Bally Singh) 1653841241

Heinz salad queen

Heinz temporarily rebranded their salad cream to 'salad queen' to celebrate her reign. So far so good, until someone in the US let them know it is actually a NSFW slang term.

\u201cI know its for the Queens jubilee, but do you suppose that @HeinzUK know that in the US \u201cSalad Queen\u201d is gay slang for a man who enjoys a spot of anilingus?\u201d
— Whores of Yore (@Whores of Yore) 1651010359

Heinz had no idea but took the news on the chin. They replied on Twitter: "For the record, we did not. But every day is a school day eh."

Indeed it is.

Caterpillar cake

Who is surprised that M&S managed to get a caterpillar cake out of the Jubilee? Anyone?

\u201cmove over colin, cuthbert and charlie. m&s are at it again wheeling out corgi and \u201cqueen connie\u201d at a tenner a pop (lowkey would devour a bit of corgi tho, can\u2019t lie.)\u201d
— Bally Singh (@Bally Singh) 1653841241

Ma'amite

And finally, Marmite has made 'Ma'amite'. Fair play to them.

\u201cnah fair play to whoever had their weetabix before the ideas meeting that morning because \u201cmaa-mite\u201d is 10/10! well done to all involved\u201d
— Bally Singh (@Bally Singh) 1653841241

Who could say no to any of these products?... Who?!

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