Woman documents 'painfully honest' restaurant review while high in viral TikTok

A Miami woman has produced perhaps the greatest food review we’ve ever seen after getting high before visiting a fancy restaurant.

TikToker Lex (@pickle.moops) shared her thoughts of a Michelin starred chef’s restaurant’s offerings after gobbling a gummy.

Admiring the elegant way the table was set, she remarked: “Obviously two gay men did this. Straight men would only do that if you haven’t slept with him yet.”

The food and drinks begin arriving in the next clip - what does she make of the fare?

They first drank a “warm sip of tea”, before she remarked: “In Miami, the smaller your food is the cooler you are, and if the meal comes on a rock and you post it then you are instantly an influencer.”

She then turned the camera to her boyfriend, whose drink arrived in a massive ornate holder in the shape of a big cat’s head.

“My boyfriend ordered this because he loves attention,” she remarked. As he took a drink out of it, she added: “Please remember this very annoying moment before you guys leave nice comments about him.”

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After a waiter pours chocolate across her boyfriend’s hands over a big bowl, she joked: “Something you also didn’t know because you are poor is that rich people wash their hands in chocolate and then they lick off the debris.”

She then showed the bizarre way the restaurant served bread - on a large wire bonsai tree.

“This bread tree made no sense to me at all but I pretended that I come from money and eat bread off trees all the time.

“I also pretended that six gnocchis on a dish was completely normal for me.

“This pork belly was the grand finale and I was fully peaking off the gummy.”

One of the last dishes was a small scoop of sorbet “that they want you to lick off like the dog you are for spending $500 on a restaurant when you know nothing about food.”

She concluded the review by saying: “From me and my overgrown acrylics, thank you for watching.”

She captioned the clip: “I give this restaurant a 6/10 because they gave me a dirty look when I ordered tap water.”

Since uploading the video last week, it has received 3.2 million views, 571,000 likes, and 5,000 comments.

One commenter wrote: “Painfully honest review thank you queen.”

Another said: “This looks like a social experiment.”

“I would straight up panic in this situation high, impossible to tell if they are just messing with me or that's how [you’re] really supposed to eat things,” another said.

Popular TikTok travel blogger @laxtoluxury commented: “This is my favorite meal narration ever.”

Hilariously, Lex later published a follow-up video showing what going out to eat is like from her boyfriend’s point of view.

He shows her looking through Yelp pictures of the menu while he guzzles his drink, before remarking: “She’s just going to over order and force me to overeat”.

He then shows her chaotic behaviour at the dinner table, before concluding: “Don’t ever date a Miami girl”.

One commenter wrote: “My new favorite couple… the satire is so elite.”

“I’m so tickled,” another said.

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