In a tasteful, yet restrained paragraph posted in the local newspaper that doesn’t quite sum up the entirety of your vibrant and eventful time on earth?
Or a rip-roaring, no-holds barred obituary that describes you as a “swaggering hybrid of Zoni desert rat, SoCal hobo and Telluride ski bum”?
That’s how one Arizona resident has been remembered, in a eulogy that even Hunter S. Thompson would have been proud of.
Printed in The Arizona Republic and posted online by an awed reader, the obituary to 65-year-old Randall Jacobs – now preserved in internet amber as “Uncle Bunky” – has gone viral, thanks to both the incredible life apparently led by its subject and some pretty excellent writing skills.
“Randall Jacobs of Phoenix died at age 65, having lived a life that would have sent a lesser man to his grave decades earlier,” the obit begins, and never really lets up from there.
His friends called him RJ, but to his family he was Uncle Bunky, a.k.a. The Bunkster. He told his last joke, which cannot be printed here, on May 4th, 2020.
Uncle Bunky burned the candle, and whatever else was handy, at both ends. He spoke in a gravelly patois of wisecracks, mangled metaphors, and inspired profanity that reflected the Arizona dive bars, Colorado ski slopes, and various dodgy establishments where he spent his days and nights.
He was a living, breathing "hang loose" sign, a swaggering hybrid of Zoni desert rat, SoCal hobo, and Telluride ski bum.
We also learn that Uncle Bunky was a purveyor of his very own “Bunky-isms” such as “Save it clown!” and enjoyed teasing his nephews with inspired nicknames like “mudflap” and “style master”.
Spending time with him could apparently result in either “a court summons or a world-class hangover” although despite his “chaotic energy”, Bunky apparently also had a “gentle soul”.
According to the obit, Bunky died days after his “beloved cat,” leaving loved ones with one final piece of wisdom:
"I'm ready for the dirt nap, but you can't leave the party if you can't find the door."
The piece finishes by asking mourners not to leave flowers but instead:
Please pay someone's open bar tab, smoke a bowl, and fearlessly carve out some fresh lines through the trees on the gnarliest side of the mountain.
Social media users were as charmed by Bunky in death as they apparently would have been in life.
“I already miss him, and I didn’t know about him until 5 minutes ago,” one Twitter user wrote.
@kinsellawarren I already miss him, and I didn’t know about him until 5 minutes ago.