Toxic dating trend: pocketing

You've probably heard about soft-launching, when people subtly share their partner on social media without revealing information about them, but have you heard of pocketing?

Both dating tactics are ways people keep their relationship private but where soft-launching is well-intended, pocketing is not.

What is pocketing?

Pocketing is when a person hides their partner from the world, keeping them in a metaphorical pocket. Whether it's not posting their significant other on social media or refusing to let them meet their family, a person who is pocketing will do their best to hide their relationship status.

Soft-launching is a popular way for young people to keep their relationship offline but typically won't deny being in a relationship or hide it from friends and family when they're trying to keep it private.

How do I know if I'm being pocketed?

Look beyond social media.

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You can tell if your partner is pocketing you if they don't allow you to meet close friends or family or introduce you to more personal aspects of their life.

Maybe they don't speak about their childhood or their personal interests. Maybe they refuse to hang out with you and your friends and vice versa. Maybe they refuse to acknowledge you on social media.

These are all strong signs that your partner is trying to hide you from the world.

Why do people pocket?

There are times when people pocket will bad intentions, like when they're being unfaithful. But other times, people do it without malicious intent.

If a person is coming out of a bad relationship and is afraid of a new one failing, they may hide the new one from the world until they feel secure enough to do so. Or if they're dating casually, maybe they're waiting to bring the right person home or to their friends.

Either way, if you feel like you're being pocketed, have an honest conversation with your partner to see how or if the situation can be remedied.

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