A man has spoken out about how he reimbursed himself for the baby shower he organised for his partner - by pocketing the cash they received from relatives.
He spent $2,500 on the venue, leaving him with no money two weeks away from when he would next receive his wages. He deposited the $1,600 the couple received in cards into his own bank account to cover their bills in the meantime.
After arguing with his wife over the matter, he turned to Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum to gather some impartial opinions - and other Redditors did not hold back.
The 29-year-old man explained that he and his 24-year-old wife are expecting their first baby boy in May. To celebrate, he threw a baby shower last weekend.
He said that although his wife initially wanted “something smaller”, he dropped $2,500 on a venue and invited their family and friends. But after spending so much money on the venue, his account was left empty - two full weeks away from pay day.
To boost his barren bank account, he took the cash from the baby shower cards - totalling $1,600 - and deposited it into his account.
However, his wife was upset as she felt the money should go towards things for the baby, instead of “paying [himself] back”. He argued that he was broke, and she told him that he should have thought of that before booking a large space. The majority of the money came from her family, he said.
He continued: “I honestly just assumed any money we got was going into paying for the shower, and she assumed it would be for whatever else we didn't get on our registry.
“I can't help but feel like she is being ungrateful about the situation, but I also possibly should have planned ahead so I wouldn't be left with no money. I will probably use the money on baby stuff anyway, however I need gas and food money as well.”
He included several edits that provided readers with further information.
He said he thought he would get more money in his tax refund, so he thought he would be able to afford to splash $2,500 on the venue.
“I don't see it as stealing from my baby since I don't by any means plan to spend ALL of this money on myself,” he said. “I'm most likely going to be the one paying for everything the baby needs and also am going to be helping my wife with her medical bills.”
His wife also has money saved and he said he doesn’t expect her to use it on “baby things”.
In a second edit, he said beyond money they also received most of their baby essentials as gifts from their 110 guests.
Since it was posted a day ago, the post has received 10,500 upvotes and 4,000 comments. The official judgement handed down to this particular poster is to be branded an “a**hole”, with his post even receiving a tag stating as much.
The top comment, with over 30,000 upvotes, pointed out that he not only did the opposite of what his wife wanted by throwing a big shower, but he also reimbursed himself to a venue he picked with money that was given to the couple for the baby.
Another said: “If you didn't want $0 in your account, you shouldn't have taken that much out in the first place. That money was most definitely meant for the baby, not for you to get paid back the money that you spent on your unnecessary expensive baby shower.”
Another pointed out that his wife must feel “frightened” to be having a baby with someone who is willing to drop such a huge amount of money on a party without knowing how he was going to feed his family for the next two weeks.
They asked: “what on earth were you thinking? What if no one had given money? Then what?”
In a final edit, the original poster said people’s responses made him reconsider his view on the situation.
He wrote: “I made a rash and impulsive decision because I wanted everyone to see that I could provide for my family, and all I did was prove to myself and my wife that I have a lot of learning to do.
“My decision to have a lavish shower was based on insecurity more than anything and I was wrong for that.
“My wife did eventually agree to have the bigger shower because she wanted me to have a say since this is my baby too, but asked if I was sure I could cover the cost multiple times. I said yes. Repeatedly I reassured her that I could do this.”
He said he genuinely assumed that the money given at baby showers went towards the cost of throwing the party, in the same way that people pay for their plates at a wedding. He said he didn’t think about the fact that the money is for the baby, and didn’t consider putting it into a savings account for his son to access once he’s older.
He concluded the post by penning: “Those of you who said I should suffer the next couple weeks are right.
“I will give the money to my wife and let her decide what should be done with it. Thank you for all your responses.”
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