Criminals have a number of commandments, if you will, that ensure they excel at their job.
Amongst these, there are imperatives; to avoid capture, honour thy partner, find a safe hideout etc etc.
Plainly put, don't be stupid.
But here are ten criminals who decided they were definitely better than the commandments.
1. Burglar falls asleep on sofa
Picture: Newcastle Police department
Ian Carr was in the process of burglarising a Newcastle home but a previous night of heavy drinking caught up with him, and he nodded off on their sofa. When the tenants returned home, they found him still there; still sleeping. The police were called and he was arrested.
2. Robbing banks with a toilet plunger
Utah resident Lawrence Deptola tried to rob a New York bank with a toilet plunger. Three banks, actually. Unsurprisingly, he was arrested and charged with 3rd degree robbery.
3. Nacho cheese, a trail of lottery tickets and two crates of beer...
Francisco Munoz didn't give Iowa City police a difficult time tracking him down after he broke into a convenience store. A trail of lottery tickets led officers to his location where he was found covered in nacho cheese and carrying two crates of Corona 100 yards from the store he’d just robbed.
4. Man robs shop wearing his underpants as 'disguise'
Tazviona Bhebe attempted to rob a corner shop in London wearing his underwear on his head as a disguise. Needless to say, he was quickly recognised and caught.
5. Eating a bag of heroin to destroy the evidence
Picture: Lancashire Police Department
Even tried to destroy incriminating evidence? Alan Timperley, 38, has, and when police officers placed a bag of heroin - that he had been in possession of earlier that day - on the table, he snatched it off and ate it.
6. Bringing the wrong kind of weapon for an armed robbery
This YouTube video shows 19-year-old Hannah Sabata bragging about the fact that she stole a car and robbed a bank. Because the first thing you ought to do post-robbery is make a vlog about it.
8. Calling ahead
Daniel Glenn, 40, of Ontario, Canada, wasn't about to rob a store on a whim - so he called in to ask how much money there was in the cash register. He was arrested an hour and a half later by local police. Sometimes you've just got to wing it.
9. Adding your victim as a friend on Facebook
Juan Gonzales of Colorado broke into a woman's home, stole her mobile phone and then sent her a friend request on Facebook. With her stolen phone. The police tracked him down using the phone signal (of course) and he was arrested.
10. And finally...
Three criminals robbed a grocery store in Colombia, pilfering oil, rice, rum and cans of tuna. What was their getaway vehicle of choice? It was a donkey: yes, a donkey. The panicked animal brayed loudly, concerned with the possible aiding and abetting charge it may receive, and drew the attention of the police.
Take note, ladies and gentlemen: what not to do when committing a crime.