Weddings can be a stressful event with the pressure to have the best day ever for the bride and groom and it can be stressful for others involved too.
One bridesmaid has shared her problem with the finances of her friend's big day.
In a post to Reddit's "Am I the A**hole?" forum, the woman explained how she forked out over a grand on her friend's wedding set to take place aboard during the festive period, but the costs continue to add up for her.
"I'll keep it short. I'm a bridesmaid in a very close family member's wedding. It's also a destination wedding on Christmas break," she wrote.
"Between the bridal shower gift, the dress, the flights/hotel/uber, I'm up to $1,500 spent so far. She is requiring us to get our hair and makeup done by her lady, and that's another $250."
She added how the bride said she will give her party $50 towards the hair and makeup as a gift and then asked if she "would be the a**hole" "if I didn't give her a gift since I already spent so much money already?"
"Other family members are gifting $100-$300, and I was suggested to pay (by my parents) on the higher side since we're all so close," the woman added.
After explaining her dilemma, some further context was added which explained why the bridesmaid had spent so much money on her friend's big day.
"Additional information: The wedding was originally planned a few weeks after this date, but she changed it so everyone could get off from work. This jacked the price up.
The bridesmaid noted how the bride's change of plans caused her party to spend more money on the wedding taking place abroadiStockphoto by Getty Images
"She was also originally paying for an Airbnb for the bridal party, but wanted to save money on that and put it towards the wedding. Transportation was also originally included.
She continued: "First she changed the date, so we all agreed to the higher price on flights and booked it since it was our only expense. After the flights were booked (like a month after) she told us she couldn't pay for the Airbnb.
"Because of the time of year, hotel prices were crazy and we all booked whatever the cheapest option was. It was significantly higher.
"None of us thought we would be paying so much money when we agreed to be in the wedding party and the original information was presented to us," the woman concluded.
Since sharing her post where she asked for advice, the bridesmaid was inundated with responses who conclusively declared she was "not the a**hole" in this situation.
One person said: "NTA. You've already paid out a huge amount of money. I know some people will disagree but events like this are vanity projects and somehow it's your responsibility to pay to be an extra in someone else's show.
"Given how she’s changed her mind on several items that jacked up the costs for the bridal party, along with her miserly bridesmaid gift, all in the pursuit of her ‘perfect day’….she’s lucky that you guys are even attending."
"Your presence as a bridesmaid is your gift to her. NTA," another person wrote.
Someone else added: "NTA. Agreeing to be in this wedding seems like gift enough. I couldn’t afford it."
"NTA. Normally, etiquette says give a gift, but bride(zilla)'s constant changes weren't normal, and they added to your expenses to a ridiculous degree that I'm sure some members of the bridal party wouldn't have said yes if they knew how pricey it would be," a fourth person commented.
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