Joe Lycett offers to investigate 'fake gays' for Suella Braverman

Joe Lycett offers to investigate 'fake gays' for Suella Braverman
Surprising that Human Rights Act wasn't called 'Criminal Rights Act', says Suella …

Comedian Joe Lycett has written to the Home Secretary Suella Braverman after she said that asylum seekers pretend to be gay to "game the system".

Braverman had also said in a speech at the American Enterprise Institute last month that "we will not be able to sustain an asylum system if in effect simply being gay or a woman, and fearful of discrimination in your country of origin is sufficient to qualify for protection".

Lycett, who identifies as pansexual, wrote the Home Secretary: "I too am disgusted by men pretending to be gay and think we should weed out this scourge from our society."

He went on to joke that "Alan Carr is actually married to a foul woman called Sandra".

To help Braverman, Lycett put forward his system of testing to ensure all asylum seekers who claim to be gay: "With my newly registered company Homo Hunters, I will spearhead this project to reduce the bumbardment [sic] of immigrants and enmesh our island with foreign homosexuals."

"I know full well that aside form unimportant contracts like PPE procurement and making classroom roof beams out of mint chocolate Aeros the government expects the companies they work with to have long term, actual experiments in their field," he said, offering his reassurance to Braverman that Homo Hunters is a legitimate company, adding his experience credentials: "I have been investigating fake gays for years."

He then divulges the "ass-essment" used by Homo Hunters: "Applicants will be escorted into a room with three tables. On the first table is a Lady Gaga CD, on the second table is a fleece from M&S Blue Harbour and on the third table is a naked Twink called Carlos (or Steve)," he writes.

"If the applicant tries to have sex with any of these things, they will be determined gay and warmly welcomed into the country. If they attempt to wear the M&S Blue Harbour fleece, mention crypto, VPNs or MMA, they will be inhumanely destroyed."

Writing on Braverman's position on immigration, Lycett writes: "just because you or your family have benefitted from a system doesn't mean that system should not be smashed to bits."

He then signs off "Padam padam, Joe Lycett", a reference to the Kylie Minogue song that became a gay anthem this year.

Lycett shared his letter to social media, tagging Braverman in the post. Now, we wait for Braverman's response to Lycett's Homo Hunters proposition.

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