John Oliver gives utterly brilliant, scathing analysis of Sepp Blatter

Football (or soccer) is a tough sell on prime-time US television, but one of Britain's finest exports is doing a darned good job of it.

In the latest instalment of the Last Week Tonight show, John Oliver skewers Sepp Blatter and the world governing body, praising the work of the FBI.

I don’t know what I’m more surprised by: that Fifa officials were actually arrested or that America was behind it. It took the country that cares the least about football to bring down the people who have been ruining it.

He continues to detail the indictment against the 14 people arrested last week, the opulent lifestyle of former American official Chuck Blazer (and his cats) as well as ex-vice president Jack Warner’s frankly bizarre behaviour.

But he saves his most scathing criticism for Sepp Blatter, the governing body's dictatorial president who was re-elected for a fifth term on Friday, calling for his removal from power.

The problem is: all the arrests in the world are going to change nothing as long as Blatter is there. Because to truly kill a snake you must cut off its head, or in this case its arsehole...

But if America keeps driving this investigation and actually finds something to indict him, I don’t think you understand how much that would mean to everyone on Earth. The whole world’s opinion of America would change overnight.

Oliver finishes the segment with a magnificent plea to Fifa's sponsors - "the only people with the power to get rid of Sepp Blatter".

Please make Sepp Blatter go away, I will do anything...

I will even drink a Bud Light Lime... despite the fact that all the lime in the world cannot disguise the fact that this tastes like a puddle beneath a dumpster. But I will do it. I will drink one maintaining eye contact with the camera and I will say it is delicious. Because if you get rid of the Swiss demon who has ruined the sport I love... this stuff will taste like f---ing champagne.

As one Facebook commenter put it so eruditely:

We couldn't agree more.

Watch the whole thing below:

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: FIFA II (HBO)

After the arrests of numerous top officials, John Oliver gave an update on the state of FIFA.

Posted by Last Week Tonight with John Oliver on Monday, 1 June 2015


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