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Narjas Zatat
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The internet’s wittiest dad is celebrating Halloween with his four adorable daughters.
You’ll remember comic writer and Twitter star James Breakwell, whose hilarious commentary on parenting invites thousands of retweets.
Well, he's at it again, with the one time of the year clown masks are an acceptable accessory choice:
When they have an answer for everything
4-year-old: Can I wear my wizard costume today? Me: No. You’ll ruin it before Halloween. 4: I'll use magic to fix it. Checkmate.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1477663817
When a four-year-old's candy logic is better than yours
4-year-old: How come we only trick-or-treat on Halloween? Me: People won't give you candy on other days. 4: Have you tried?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1477581135
And your children's diets actually explain everything
Me: I'm heading to the grocery store. 6-year-old: Why? We're about to get Halloween candy. Me: You need other food, too. 6: Maybe YOU do.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1477682399
Those existential questions...
And when you realise your children are slightly psychotic
Arts and crafts with the little 'uns
I let my 2-year-old draw a face on a pumpkin. I'm supposed to carve out the lines. Challenge accepted. https://t.co/REhAJklPdI— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1477695869
Revelling in your children's fear is the best
My 2-year-old won’t go down the stairs She's terrified of the jack-o-lanterns at the bottom I know what I'm putting around my bed tonight.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1477755014
The Harry Potter reference (!!)
I had to make a new rule today: No killing curses in front of Grandma. Raising muggles must be so much easier.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1477774041
And finally, Trick-o-Treating:
I'm holding tryouts for my quidditch team. Things aren't looking good So far I've got two chasers, a disgruntled… https://t.co/iz8SJ7QArt— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn) 1477791475
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