A woman has gone viral on TikTok after posting a video where she explains why she won’t let people - including her own parents - hug or kiss her one-year-old daughter without the child’s permission.
Baxter then goes on to say what has been “bothering” her:
“Can we please start normalising the fact that kids do not have to kiss in front of adults? My daughter’s almost two years old and I’ve been in the process of teaching her consent basically since the day that she’s been born, and I find it really f**king unhelpful when the adults in her life are like ‘What?! We have to ask for a kiss and a hug?’, even though I’ve explained why multiple times.”
“And then when she says no, they’re like ‘Oh she doesn’t love me my feelings are so hurt’ and then they proceed to overstep her body boundaries anyway.
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“My daughter and her body do not exist to make anyone feel more comfortable and to make anyone feel more loved, it is not her fault and it’s not my fault that the older generation haven’t taken the time throughout their entire lives to learn how to regulate their emotions so consent doesn’t continue to be overlooked.
“No one’s feelings are ever going to be more important than my daughter’s right to her own body and I’m sure as s**t not going to allow her to grow up in an environment where 1. She doesn’t know how to say no, and 2. She doesn’t know what it looks like for her no to be respected.
“Grandparents do better.”
Of course, parenting styles are completely of personal preference and so this video garnered a lot of reaction.
The video now has over 378,000 views with 38,000 likes and over 1,000 comments too.
One person said: “God help me! The world is seriously becoming mad. So very very very sad.”
“I encourage my 21 month [to] bond (emotional and physical warmth) with my parents...and she is so connected to them...I really don’t get your anger💔,” another person wrote.
A third person said: “What kind of parent makes their child ask to be shown affection?”
But, there were also many supportive comments from parents who believe Baxter is doing the right thing by her child:
“Everyone commenting you don’t agree and you coerce your kids... it’s literal facts that they’re more likely to be abused by people they KNOW,” another person wrote.
Someone else replied: “I myself even ask permission from my daughter for a kiss...If she doesn’t want one that’s her choice! I don’t feel any less loved when she says no.”
“This is so important!! Thank you for posting this,” a third person commented.