But his wife says she “completely hates the idea” of the 25-year-old effecting a legal name-change and, if he goes ahead with it, she won’t go to his wedding.
“My wife is now trying to get me on her side,” the desperate husband and father explained.
“She wants me to threaten to disown him and cut him out of the will.”
“I, however, think my son should do what he wants. He’s an adult and forcing him isn’t going to do anything.”
He ended the message by explaining that the issue had led to ongoing arguments between him and his spouse and that she “constantly goes to her sister’s house to cool down.”
“As far as I know my son hasn’t actually changed his name,” he added, saying he thought he might be fuelling the fallout “because I am kind of encouraging my son to change his name by agreeing with him.”
The dad said he agreed with his son, which was causing issues with his wife
The post was met with hundreds of comments within the space of a day, with most viewers backing up the father’s stance.
“Like you said, he’s an adult and can do what he wants,” one fellow Redditor wrote.
“Your wife’s reaction to this sounds excessive and could be resulting from her difficulty processing the death of her brother as well as this distressing news of his duplicity.”
Another added: “If the wife keeps pushing this she’s going to push her son right out of her life for good.
“He’s an adult, he gets to make that decision and a good parent would stand by him, not double down.”
They continued: “Your wife probably needs some therapy because she has some issues in relation to the truth about her brother versus the perception she wants to carry on believing.”
Another encouraged the husband to “remind wifey that the wedding she won’t go to will 90 per cent lead to grandchildren, and no hugs and visits for her. Explain it slowly.”
Reddit users suggested the mother needed therapy
But others were more sympathetic with the mum’s position.
“I went through a depressive period when I discovered that some loved family members weren’t the people I thought they were, it kind of shook my identity to the core to discover that,” one said.
“The wife is going through that, PLUS her son is rejecting his identity at the same time, which is compounding those feelings of uncertainty and despair.
They continued: “I believe she’s totally overreacting to her son’s choice, but if she’s in a bad place I can relate to where that’s coming from.”
Meanwhile, another suggested: “If anything maybe ask the son to wait a bit to change his name? Maybe just the sheer devastation of the wife’s brother’s death and added hurt of a double life is just being triggered. Let her get some help, grieve, and come back to reason.
“Or he can just change his name and not tell her until she is more or less recovered. She could simply be projecting and not willing to accept the truth about her brother yet because there’s still a chance that after the acceptance she won’t really be mad about it.
“It just feels like another blow to her right now because she can’t get herself to accept it yet.”