13 most ridiculous moments from British politics in 2018

Greg Evans
Tuesday 01 January 2019 11:15
news

Two years ago, Britain probably experienced it's most unpredictable and chaotic year ever.

The EU referendum was a complete and utter farce, which resulted in a campaign laden with lies winning and dragging the country out of the European Union in an event that we collectively call Brexit.

The day after that, David Cameron quit as prime minister, forcing a leadership election which was barely even contested as Theresa May was the only one, in the end, who wanted the job.

Then Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn had to face a leadership election of his own, which he eventually won, but it was a further kerfuffle, which nobody really needed.

In comparison 2017 wasn't that bad, but we did have that awful general election, which was full of rhetoric and bitterness and didn't really help matters at all, as the Tories lost their majority and entered a bizarre coalition with the DUP.

With those two years under its belt, the politicians in Westminster had a good long look at themselves and said 'hold my drink because you haven't seen anything yet'.

If anything, the last 12 months in British politics have felt like a rerun of The Thick of It, only this time it isn't funny, as it is worryingly real and our slow march into the abyss of Brexit never seems to get any better.

To demonstrate just how hopeless some of our politicians were this year allow us to countdown 12 moments from our elected elite that were beyond parody.

Let's start with everyone's favourite Victorian pencil. A man who has had more failed takeovers than Newcastle United and a man so besotted with Brexit he's probably already given it a name in Latin.

His latter half of the year is when he has really come into his own as his diehard attempts to get Brexit done and dusted have been admirable, if not completely hopeless.

For instance, his ERG group got absolutely rinsed on Twitter for their bold, diverse and unique look at the future of a 'global Britain'.

He's also been quite active on Twitter. Not Donald Trump levels of active, but still posts enough to make people fume.

Much like Donald, Rees-Mogg has a way of putting his foot in it. Take a look at these beauties and you'll see what we mean.

Yes, that last one is in Latin.

We think it's fair to say that his two highlights of the year was when he walked past Connor McGregor on the street and when someone left a sex toy in the back of his car.

This one has kinda been forgotten about and swept under the rug thanks to the chaos of the last few weeks, but one of the biggest companies in the world did hire the former deputy prime minister, who was so bad at his job he lost his seat, to come and work for them as their head of global affairs and communications.

That was quite an afternoon to be on the internet, as everyone lost their minds that the former Lib Dem leader could land such a role.

This one is almost too good to be true and if it wasn't real we'd be crying with laughter. Except it is real and we are just crying.

At the end of November, several Tory MPs were photographed next to food banks in Tesco stores throughout their constituencies.

Now, we're not saying these politicians are responsible for people in their area having to rely on donations from others in order to put food on the table, but we're not NOT saying it either.

When Kanye West declared that he would no longer be engaging in politics after a weird few months of flirting with Donald Trump, nobody could have guessed what he would do next.

No, he didn't announce his intentions to run for president in 2020, but instead he wound up following Green Party co-leader Caroline Lucas on Twitter.

There didn't seem much logic behind this as Kanye doesn't follow any other British politicians on Twitter, so he obviously isn't trying to get a broad perspective of opinions from Westminster, but Lucas did see the funny side of it.

This is one of those stories that leaves you questioning exactly how on Earth that happened.

Back in April, an elderly couple in Streatham, South London, received a letter from the Tories thanking them for their support, but they probably should have given the letter a once over as they managed to not only get their names wrong, but they replaced them with something pretty offensive.

We don't really know what to say about this but there were Nigel Farage themed condoms at the UKIP conference in September and it's probably one of the worst things that ever happened.

The DUP are so archaic and old-fashioned they make the Tories look like a bunch of socialist trade union members, sharing Marx quotes with each other through Instagram stories.

Yet in an attempt to maybe improve their image among the LGBT+ community, their leader Arlene Foster attended an LGBT+ event in June, despite being the leader of a party from a country which is the only part of the UK yet to approve same-sex marriage. The DUP is massively against same-sex marriage and is unlikely to waver on. In June she said:

I want to genuinely reach out to our minority communities and show them the hand of friendship, recognising they have made Northern Ireland their home.

I believe I can hold to my principled position, particularly in reality to the definition of marriage, while respecting the diversity across our society and recognising that sexuality is a matter for the individual.

All I ask in return is that my, and our views, are also respected and not the subject of the vilest of abuse as has sometimes been the case by a small minority.

We believe that it was Rudyard Kipling that once said:

If you can keep your head when all about you   

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise

It feels applicable to the above scene.

Just a day after pulling a crucial vote on her Brexit deal and a day before facing a no-confidence vote from her own colleagues, Theresa May went to Germany to meet Angela Merkle in an attempt to rescue her maligned deal.

That part of the trip was probably the easiest part, however, she ran into a spot of bother when trying to get out of her car in Berlin, leaving the German chancellor looking on at what was basically a perfect metaphor for Brexit.

To be honest we could have made this whole feature about Boris Johnson, as the man himself is literally a walking parody of everything that is wrong with British politics.

Not only has he driven the country into the absolute gutter with his Brexit campaign in 2016, but he continues to be a buffoon at every opportunity he gets.

This was most evident in the eye-opening BBC documentary Inside the Foreign Office which gave us a behind-the-scenes look at his time as foreign secretary.

We think this clip pretty much sums up the show perfectly.

Most of that was actually filmed in 2017 so in order to honour his misdemeanours in 2018, here he is trying to give cups of tea to journalists who had waited outside his house all day in August after he compared women who wear niqabs to 'letter boxes' and 'bank robbers'. He didn't answer any questions but at least those poor journalists got a nice warm brew. That's all that matters, right?

11. Theresa May's dancing.

If we've learnt anything in 2018 it's that if you are a politician you should never ever dance, no matter how good you think you are at it.

Theresa May obviously didn't get this memo and, with her confidence hit an all-time high, presumably thanks to her years of running through fields of wheat, she decided it would be really good to dance with a group of school children during her visit to South Africa at the end of August.

Looks more like the Tin-Man from the Wizard of Oz, but in dire need of some WD-40 .

Despite being completely awful, it managed to get a sequel, and then got a big budget remake at the Tory conference.

Lord help us.

12. Jeremy Corbyn tried to 'floss'.

Somehow, Theresa May's adventures in boogie wonderland completely went over the head of Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn by as he tried to get on the dance trend known as 'the floss'.

Unfortunately, much like May, Corbyn displayed all the grace, elegance and coordination as John Prescott trying to put his trousers on every morning.

Still, we all know that Corbyn's best moment of the year was when he met Gemma Collins and the 'GC' potentially had no idea who he was.

We think the only thing that we have learnt from British politics in the past 12 months is that Danny Dyer is the only person that can save us and deserves to have some sort of knighthood or at least an OBE.

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