Boris Johnson tosses grenade during visit to Ukrainian troops training in UK

It is Boris Johnson's last day in office and the dying embers of his premiership have been just as crap as the rest of it.

After resigning a few short weeks ago, the noble PM said he would stay on until the Tories choose a replacement and that he has done, and rather than twiddle his thumbs and write some handover documents, he has used his notice period to behave in utterly bonkers ways.

From having a jolly while the rest of the cabinet held a Cobra meeting, to behaving in petty ways with his rivals, he's really amped up his "no f***s given" vibe in the last few weeks. He is basically the poster boy for quiet quitting.

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Don't believe us? Here are all the things the PM has done to waste his last few weeks in office.

1. Appointed a new cabinet

We guess he had to do this given how many people resigned from the old one, but announcing new ministers who will likely be replaced when the new PM takes office is a bit of a headache.

Nothing sums that up more than the education department, which recently had three ministers in three days because of the speed of resignations.

What a mess.

2. Packing the Lords with fools rumours

It is thought that Johnson will recommend Nadine Dorries to become a peer before he leaves No 10, The Sunday Times reports and people can't think of anything more ridiculous.

Aside from Dorries, the publication says Johnson might appoint Allegra Stratton, who resigned as Johnson's spokesperson for her role in Partygate.

Paul Dacre, the former editor of the Daily Mail, and billionaire Tory donor Michael Hintze are also said to be in line to be ennobled in the next couple of months so it is looking like a cracking list indeed.

3. Had a jolly in Chequers

When the UK prepared for an extreme heatwave in which temperatures in parts of the country reached a record breaking 40.3C, Johnson hung out in his Chequers retreat in Buckinghamshire instead of chairing an emergency Cobra meeting about it.

Labour’s Angela Rayner said Johnson had “gone missing in action again”.

“He’s back to his old tricks of skipping important Cobra meetings.

“The public will have no confidence in this zombie Conservative government responding swiftly and decisively to this national emergency as this disgraced prime minister prepares to party while Britain boils.”

People were outraged.

4. Had a gap year moment on a Typhoon fighter jet

If that wasn't bad enough, Johnson spent some valuable time being filmed at the controls of a Royal Air Force combat jet. He gave a thumbs up as he took the reins of the jet flying through the sky before making a speech to business leaders at Farnborough air show.

"After three happy years in the cockpit, performing some pretty difficult if not astonishing feats, I am about to hand the controls over seamlessly to someone else," he joked.

People thought it was a waste of taxpayers money and who can blame them?

5. Suspended Tobias Ellwood from the party

In what appeared to be a slightly petty move, Johnson removed Tobias Ellwood's whip after he didn't vote in a confidence vote in the government.

The thing is, he was abroad for work, and 11 other MPs didn't vote either.

People speculated it might have been motivated by Ellwood's support for leadership hopeful Penny Mordaunt, and his sustained criticism for Johnson but government loyalist rebuffed these claims.

But the whips’ office confirmed the next day that the MP would be “temporarily unsuspended” so he could vote in the contest, before having the whip suspended again by the end of the afternoon.

That's something, then.

6. Used his last PMQs to call Starmer a "plastic bollard"

You might think a leader would use one of their final commons appearances to talk about what they have achieved, or to give advice for the future.

It is, after all, a historical moment.

But Johnson used his final PMQs to call the opposition leader a "plastic bollard" and when he left the chamber said: "Hasta la vista".

7. Played with grenades

Johnson visited Ukrainian troops training in Yorkshire in late July and joined in the training.

He was even filmed throwing a grenade and pictured playing with guns.

He framed it as one of the ways he was supporting the war-torn country, but others saw it as another example of him clocking off.

A frustrated former Tory MP Anna Soubry accused him of being "lazy" and "incompetent" and completing a "bucket list" like a "petulant child".

"Johnson's legacy is going to be the worst prime minister in our history," she added in an interview with Good Morning Britain.

8. Packed up his flat

In August, two huge removal vans arrived were spotted outside Downing Street , prompting speculation that the prime minister will leave office with loads of furniture and anything not nailed down, perhaps like someone leaving a hotel room with loads of tiny shampoo bottles.

He is allowed to take any fittings that he paid for himself – although many were originally funded by a rich Tory donor – raising questions about the infamous £840-a-roll gold wallpaper he used to refurbish his flat last year.

While he was rumoured to be packing, his government made no further progress with all the issues happening in the country.

9. Went on holiday during a cost of living crisis (twice)

While the country worried about affording daily bills, let alone going away, Johnson went on holiday not once, but twice in less than a month.

First, he popped to Slovenia for a belated honeymoon with his wife Carrie Johnson.

He told local media: "We've had an absolutely wonderful time. We've climbed every available mountain, we've jumped in the lakes, we've been on bicycles and we've had a wonderful time."

Then, he popped to Greece where he was spotted shopping.

"On the evidence of the last few months it seems to make little difference if the prime minister is in the office or on holiday," a spokesperson for Labour told The Independent.

"It’s all just one big party for Boris Johnson while the country struggles with the Tory cost of living crisis."

10. Joined a police raid

A man was surprised when the police raided his home, with Johnson.

The man shared a video on social media of the moment the prime minister donned a stab vest as he said "how do you do" to the person behind the camera, who greeted him with "wagwan Boris".

"I woke up to a 6am raid and Boris Johnson's in my face. Bro, how the f*** did I get raided and Boris Johnson's there?" he said in a separate video.

Class B drugs were found, but no arrests were made.

11. Went on a vanity 'farewell tour'

It was part of his tour which he organised to highlight the positive things he’s achieved for the country as prime minister since 2019, The Times reported.

What a ridiculous thing to do.

12. Fixed the cost of living crisis by telling people to get kettles

Perhaps tired of all his jollies, the PM decided to do a speech addressing the cost of living crisis (finally). What were his pearls of wisdom? He told people they could ease their energy bill woes by buying a new £20 kettle to save £10 a year on their electricity.

Speaking in Suffolk, Johnson said: “If you have an old kettle which takes ages to boil, it may cost you £20 to replace it – but if you get a new one, you’ll save £10 a year every year on your electricity bill.”

He was roasted by despairing Brits.

13. Hung out with cartoon characters

Last week, Johnson and his family met characters from Paw Patrol in Kent. It might have been nice for his children, but it would have been great if he could have done some governing, too.

Boris Johnson: absurd until the very end.

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